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Archive for the 'IM Jollies' Category

Buzz Control

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

I have noted an alarming phenomenon that appears to be gaining in popularity – much to the detriment of those that like to keep the sound switched "on" when using their instant messaging programs.

I refer to this blight on the i.m.ing world as "Buzzer Frenzy", and it refers to the individuals that like to, rather excessively, abuse the BUZZ button while chatting.  (Note:  In particular, this refers to the BUZZ feature in Yahoo! Messenger.)

I do not like to ever use the BUZZ button, truth be told; yet there are some – very few – instances where it might apply.  Perhaps when someone has been a.f.k. overlong or you truly need to grab their attention in case of an emergency.

To truly understand the seriousness of Buzzer Frenzy and why it must be stopped, one must first understand what happens when the BUZZ button is pressed.

Not only does it deliver a loud, jarring sound to the user being buzzed (if their sound is on) and vibrates their messenger window making it appear to be seizing, it takes the cursor out of whatever window the user happens to already be typing in, and puts it into the buzzing, vibrating, horribly annoying window with the buzzing user that you now want to choke the everliving shit out of.

Rude?  It goes beyond that.

Let's say I'm typing to a family member who does not live near me and we are discussing a sudden family crisis that has just happened – we are typing back and forth, completely absorbed in our conversation and not paying attention to other i.m.s popping up that are, at this moment, not as important.  (Yes, this has happened to me).

Some asshat, let's call him Asshat, comes on and says "hi", and I – in the midst of having a very important conversation – do not respond immediately to that person.  Asshat waits a few moments then, just as I'm in mid-sentence typing a frantic reply to my family member, my cursor is zapped over to Asshat's window and the remainder of my sentence ends up there.

Amazingly, Asshat rarely understands why I then go into a homicidal rage and start typing in all caps and bold, red font WTMF DO YOU WANT YOU STUPID, IMPATIENT, RUDE ASSHAT OF A MORON???!!!!!

The worse are the dumbfucks that BUZZ as a conversation starter.

For example, a dumbfuck, let's call him Dumbfuck, decides he wants to chat with me.  I do not know Dumbfuck, I have never talked to Dumbfuck before, but he has read my profile (which, by the way, says, "please do not buzz") and sees I'm female (really, that's all it takes) and decides to strike up a conversation with me.

Dumbfuck does not send a friendly "Hello, would you like to chat", a simple "Hi", or even a spastic, incoherent "hiiiii h r u" to see if I'm interested in responding or even online at all.  He doesn't care if I'm busy, in a location where I need not have a loud jarring sound blaring from my computer, or in the middle of a chat with someone else.  He wants my attention now, and – to him apparently – it is imperative that I respond to him and only him right at this very instant.

Dumbfuck:  BUZZ

That is his hello.  That is his introduction…no idea that this makes him come across as an arrogant, rude, impatient dumbfuck.  No care that his rude buzzing may take my cursor from an already open window and on-going conversation and stick it in his – a complete stranger with a patience problem and a lack of common decency.

Dumbfuck, then, also has no idea why I respond with a curt "Go suck a donkey's taint, fucktard".

I have become so irate and intolerant of the buzz button that I get livid even when it is used in moderation; if someone uses it at all, I pretty much go ballistic and put them on ignore.

These people (usually men) are completely ignorant of the fact that their excessive abuse of the Buzz button is driving the sane half of the i.m. world insane.  This has to stop – or instant messengers need to eliminate the buzz button from their programs, as they seem to serve no better purpose than to drive people batty.

Please, do your part to end Buzzer Frenzy.

(Have your own BUZZ or other I.M.-irritations to share?  Leave them in the comments & we'll commiserate together!)

Maybe…Purple?

Friday, July 14th, 2006

I don't know how they do it, but the nasty, 'net poontrolls always end up coming to me.  You're not complaining, though, are you?  Just more for you to laugh at.

Get a load of this one, I call it What Is The Color of Your Pussy?:

king_tout81: BUZZ!!!
king_tout81: hello
king_tout81: can i ask u
valeria_messalinna: What?
king_tout81: hello
king_tout81: BUZZ!!!
king_tout81: can i ask?
king_tout81: BUZZ!!!
valeria_messalinna: Ask WHAT?
valeria_messalinna: Ask it, jeez.
king_tout81: wt's the colore of ur pussy ?
king_tout81: Pllz
valeria_messalinna: The same color they all are, you fucking idiot!
king_tout81: relly
valeria_messalinna: Are you retarded?
valeria_messalinna: Can I ask?
king_tout81: Yes
valeria_messalinna: Have you never seen one?
king_tout81: no, but i would like to see
valeria_messalinna: You're a virgin?!
king_tout81: Yes
king_tout81: u?
valeria_messalinna: How old are you?
king_tout81: 24
king_tout81: You're a virgin?!
valeria_messalinna: You're a 24 year-old virgin? What is wrong with you?

Now there is nothing wrong with being a 24 year-old virgin, imo. I'm just fucking with him because he's a nasty, little perv who - more like than not - is lying his ass off to try and get me to "teach" him about sex (it's one of the oldest tricks in their book).

king_tout81: BUZZ!!!
valeria_messalinna: Well, what's wrong with you? Quit buzzing and answer me, stupid.
king_tout81: ok
king_tout81: BUZZ!!!
valeria_messalinna: Stop buzzing me, freak.
valeria_messalinna: What's wrong with you? Why are you a virign at your age?
king_tout81: ok ok
valeria_messalinna: Why?
king_tout81: coz i dont likegirls
valeria_messalinna: You're gay?
king_tout81: u
valeria_messalinna: No, I'm bisexual, not gay.
valeria_messalinna: But if you don't like girls, you're gay.
valeria_messalinna: If you don't like girls, why are you asking about the color of their vaginas?
king_tout81: no no
valeria_messalinna: Uh, yeah.
king_tout81: i like close
valeria_messalinna: That isn't a sentence.
valeria_messalinna: "Close"?
valeria_messalinna: WTF does that mean?
king_tout81: sorry i mean clothes
valeria_messalinna: You like clothes and you don't like girls. You ARE gay!
valeria_messalinna: So why do you want to know a vagina color if you're gay?
king_tout81: no iam not gay
valeria_messalinna: But you like clothes. And you don't like girls.
king_tout81: but not all of girls liked
valeria_messalinna: I think girls don't like you and that's why you're a virgin.
king_tout81: u see that ??
valeria_messalinna: It's obvious.
valeria_messalinna: You're 24 and have never had sex.
valeria_messalinna: That's pathetic.
valeria_messalinna: And you know why else?
valeria_messalinna: Because you go around starting off conversations by asking women what color their pussies are. Not a good way to pick up a woman, you dullard.

Halls of Stupid Classic, my friends!

vishal_gets Busted

Wednesday, April 12th, 2006

After our first exchange (Part 1), Vishal decided to try and play the part of innocent, sweet foreigner looking for "friendship" in his subsequent chats with me. I played along - waiting; I've been chatting with these asshats long enough to know that game and knew it was only a matter of time before his true intentions - and true low-life, scumbag pervert self - made an appearance. As usual, Vishal did not disappoint.

Part 1 was the first time he ever talked to me. Part 2 was our last exchange with him pretending to be an innocent, almost-virgin by making pathetic (and obvious) attempts at trying to get me to talk about sex with him (can you say stupid?). Part 3 is when the real Vishal stepped up, and then slipped up and admitted to being married with two kids.


Part 1

vishal_gets: hi
valeria_messalinna: hi
vishal_gets: hi
vishal_gets: how r u ?

valeria_messalinna: Ok.
vishal_gets: i am vishal
vishal_gets: 22m
vishal_gets: and u

valeria_messalinna: All that info is on my profile. Didn't you look at it before you IM'ed me?
vishal_gets: ok
vishal_gets: what do u do ?

valeria_messalinna: i work with computers.
vishal_gets: i am also
vishal_gets: i am computer eng & now i am network admin

valeria_messalinna: Ok.
vishal_gets: u r looking so beuatiful
vishal_gets: after see ur profile

valeria_messalinna: Ok, thanks.
vishal_gets: u r 28
valeria_messalinna: Yes.
valeria_messalinna: Brb
vishal_gets: hello
vishal_gets: are u busy ?

vishal_gets: BUZZ!!!
valeria_messalinna: Don't you know what "brb" means?
vishal_gets: ya
vishal_gets: be right back

valeria_messalinna: Well....why were you buzzing me?
vishal_gets:
vishal_gets: nothing

valeria_messalinna: Nothing?
vishal_gets: i think u r busy so i buzzing u
valeria_messalinna: I told you "brb"
vishal_gets: ok
vishal_gets: i told u "valy"

valeria_messalinna: No you didn't.
vishal_gets: ok
vishal_gets: as u wish
vishal_gets: tell me about ur office time

valeria_messalinna: What?
vishal_gets: i means whats office-time scedule ?
valeria_messalinna: I work 8 hours a day, if that's what you are asking.
vishal_gets: ok
vishal_gets: valeria, are u in office ?

valeria_messalinna: Not right now.
vishal_gets: ok
vishal_gets: valeria tell me something
vishal_gets: i am confuse

valeria_messalinna: What?
vishal_gets: valeria, are u married ?
valeria_messalinna: No.
vishal_gets: ok
vishal_gets: i am also
vishal_gets: nice to chat with u

valeria_messalinna: Ok.
vishal_gets: have u any bf ?
valeria_messalinna: Yes.
vishal_gets: ok
vishal_gets: but haven't any gf
valeria_messalinna: Ok.
vishal_gets: do u want to make my gf ?
valeria_messalinna: "Make my gf"? What does that mean?
vishal_gets: i mean do u want be my gf ?
valeria_messalinna: Are you serious?
vishal_gets: i am realy serious
vishal_gets: because i need girl who understand me & i am undestand her
vishal_gets: all that thing u have

valeria_messalinna: "All that things u have". You don't know me. Do you regularly ask complete strangers, who are already in a relationship, to be your girlfriend??
vishal_gets: i tell u truth
valeria_messalinna: What truth? That you're weird?
vishal_gets: no
vishal_gets: i am not

valeria_messalinna: You are asking a complete stranger to be your girlfriend - one that you've talked to all of 5 minutes. Yes, that is weird.
vishal_gets: i am sure that i havent any gf
valeria_messalinna: So?
valeria_messalinna: Go find one - don't pick up strangers online, weirdo.
vishal_gets: because if u think
vishal_gets: i am not that type of person who cheat other

valeria_messalinna: I think that I have a boyfriend and I don't KNOW you.
valeria_messalinna: I don't cheat either - but you're asking me to!
vishal_gets: ok
vishal_gets: just forget about it & lets chat

valeria_messalinna: What is wrong with you?
vishal_gets: u know i havent any luck
valeria_messalinna: It has nothing to do with luck. Maybe you try hitting on people you know, from your own country, who aren't attached. Just a thought.
vishal_gets: i never get love in my life
valeria_messalinna: Perhaps because you're going about it in the wrong way.
vishal_gets: so tell me that whay
vishal_gets: what am i doing ?

valeria_messalinna: Here's a few tips: 1) Meet a real person and get to know them first, 2) Be in the same country, it helps and 3) Don't ask people that already are in a relationship. This should be pretty obvious.
vishal_gets: thanks
valeria_messalinna: I mean, you didn't think of any of that???
vishal_gets: u r my best friend
valeria_messalinna: Um, no I'm not.
vishal_gets: but whats proble have u
valeria_messalinna: That doesn't make any sense.
vishal_gets: plz
vishal_gets: only u which solve my problem

valeria_messalinna: What??
valeria_messalinna: Your English is getting steadily worse.
vishal_gets: ya
vishal_gets: but try my best

valeria_messalinna: I see.
vishal_gets: valeria tell me that what am i doing to get girl ?
valeria_messalinna: I don't know - try not doing it online with people from other countries.
vishal_gets: i never try in online
valeria_messalinna: You just did
vishal_gets: but i only know that i love u
vishal_gets: if u belive or not
vishal_gets: in our india nobody cheat their gf as compare to ur country

valeria_messalinna: You DO NOT love me, crazy man!
valeria_messalinna: You're asking ME to cheat on MY boyfriend, stupid!
vishal_gets: i love u because i like foreginer
vishal_gets: i like ur face
vishal_gets: but why ?
vishal_gets: i am looking young ,smart & cheerful

valeria_messalinna: I have a boyfriend. I don't know you.
valeria_messalinna: I don't like you.
valeria_messalinna: I sure as hell don't love you.
valeria_messalinna: We've been talking all of five minutes.
vishal_gets: plz dont break my hert
valeria_messalinna: I'm not.
vishal_gets: ok
valeria_messalinna: You are breaking your own heart with your weird thoughts of "love".
vishal_gets: ok foerget about it
valeria_messalinna: Not a problem.
vishal_gets: do u intrest in ssex ?
valeria_messalinna: What?
vishal_gets: i means, have u ever enjoy sex in ur life ?
valeria_messalinna: That's none of your business.
valeria_messalinna: I'm leaving for work now. Goodbye.
vishal_gets: noooooooooooo
valeria_messalinna: Yeah, I have to work.
vishal_gets: hello
valeria_messalinna: No, goodbye.
vishal_gets: plz
valeria_messalinna: Bye
vishal_gets: i never asking again
vishal_gets: i am not that type person
vishal_gets: plz
vishal_gets: dont go

valeria_messalinna: I HAVE TO GO TO WORK
vishal_gets: tell me that when to me again
vishal_gets: plz


Part 2

vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:16:21 AM): hi valeria
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:16:25 AM): hi
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:18:37 AM): valeria what r u doing now ?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:19:55 AM): hello
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:19:59 AM): where r u

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:21:01 AM): At home.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:26:01 AM): valeria
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:26:10 AM): Yes?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:28:31 AM): valeria tell me that what is sex because this question asked me by my younger sister
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:28:49 AM): What?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:29:33 AM): explain me about sex
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:29:50 AM): How old are you?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:30:00 AM): 20
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:30:26 AM): And you don't know what "sex" is?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:30:50 AM): still i don't know about sex
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:31:02 AM): Why not?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:31:34 AM): because never heard about it & feel it
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:32:53 AM): Even if you're a virgin you know the basics. Tab A goes into Slot B. What else do you want me to tell you? It's how babies are made...
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:34:02 AM): how to enjoy sex with girl ?
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:34:48 AM): If you're doing it, you're enjoying it.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:35:13 AM): but how ?
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:36:14 AM): Trust me, when you stick it in, you're enjoying it. It just works that way for guys. I know you understand the basics, no one is that clueless.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:38:25 AM): but i want to know that how girls r attract in sex
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:39:39 AM): What?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:40:28 AM): when girls need sex?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:41:05 AM): and how she react at that time

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:42:58 AM): There is no way to answer that. You just know.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:46:06 AM): but i want to u explain me about more becuase u know better than me
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:46:53 AM): I don't know how to explain such a thing.
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:47:06 AM): It's not like they're animals who give off mating ritual signs or something.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:47:43 AM): as like my well-wisher
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:51:06 AM): valeria i want know only that which parts of man attract girls?

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:54:39 AM): It depends on the girl. Everyone is attracted to different things. There's no answer to that.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:55:15 AM): for example
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:56:31 AM): It's different for everyone. For example, ANY body part, hair color, style of clothing....??!
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:56:32 AM): because my aunty tell me that most girls attract men chest
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:56:44 AM): Most girls are attracted to a million different things.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:56:52 AM): ok
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:56:57 AM): thanks

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:57:07 AM): There's no "one" thing.
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:57:11 AM): It just doesn't work like that.
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:57:52 AM): Some girls like glasses, some don't. Some girls like big noses, some girls like small noses, some girls like chest hair, and some girls like big feet...it depends on the *girl* in question
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:01:05 AM): ok
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:04:48 AM): valeria i heard that girls has 80% exciting for sex while men has 20%

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:09:59 AM): What?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:13:27 AM): i mean i heard that girls r more need sex than boys
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:14:06 AM): No.
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:14:32 AM): Generally men need it more. But it depends - some women like it more than men and vice versa. You really can't pull statistics on this - it's all very individual.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:15:59 AM): ok
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:19:06 AM): but tell me that when men & women need sex

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:19:39 AM): Whenever they feel like it.
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:19:51 AM): You're never going to get laid if you don't learn some more about human sexuality, Vishal.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:20:20 AM): ok
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:21:25 AM): why i ask u about sex because i never enjoy it

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:22:10 AM): Then learn - read some books.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:25:20 AM): can u tell me that its necessary to enjoy sex or not
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:25:35 AM): It isn't necessary but all men enjoy it.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:25:51 AM): ok
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:26:34 AM): then how to come babby ?

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:27:19 AM): What?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:28:02 AM): i mean how to made babby ?
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:28:10 AM): You aren't making any sense.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:28:43 AM): still i awareness of it
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:28:49 AM): ????????????????
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:28:59 AM): I have NO idea what you're saying.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:29:17 AM): i dont know about it
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:29:26 AM): About what?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:29:39 AM): babby
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:29:45 AM): Baby?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:30:10 AM): ya
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:30:17 AM): What about a baby?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:30:51 AM): nothing
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:31:06 AM): Holy fuck, are you ASKING me how babies are made??!
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:31:10 AM): do u like sex ?
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:31:16 AM): Everyone likes sex.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:31:27 AM): ok
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:32:14 AM): have u enjoy in ur life ?

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:32:18 AM): What?
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:32:50 AM): i mean have u enjoy sex in ur life ?
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 7:32:59 AM): That's NONE of your business.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 7:34:04 AM): sorry but last question of it
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 8:10:00 AM): valeria where r u ?

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 8:10:07 AM): Here
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 8:10:31 AM): ok
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 8:10:45 AM): pyaying game
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 8:10:58 AM): i mean playing game

valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 8:11:07 AM): Yes
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 8:11:53 AM): valeria when u go outside ?
valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 8:12:58 AM): I've been outside already to let my cats out.
vishal_gets (4/8/2006 8:15:24 AM): ok

They were pretty much all that mundane and pointless, with him trying - in the most ass ways possible - to get me to talk about sex with him. Pretty pathetic, eh?


Part 3

His true colors finally come out, and I jump all over his lying, loser ass. Really - I enjoy this too much.

vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:34:17 AM): i wanna be fuck u
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:34:19 AM): will u be ready
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:34:24 AM): bhos

valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:34:26 AM): Excuse me?
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:34:43 AM): ru ready
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:34:56 AM): hellooo
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:35:15 AM): whats up
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:35:23 AM): ru there

valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:35:34 AM): "i wanna be fuck u"???????????????????????
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:35:35 AM): or hang out
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:35:40 AM): What in the HELL does that mean?
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:35:59 AM): no
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:36:10 AM): ru ready to fuck with me

valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:36:23 AM): WHAT??!!
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:36:37 AM): ?
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:36:49 AM): u dont understand English ???

Excuse me?! Oh, it's on now, bitch. I knew exactly what the perv was getting at - I just wanted to make him come all the way out with it.

valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:37:10 AM): Stupid.
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:37:17 AM): Not your English.
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:37:21 AM): You aren't making ANY sense.
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:37:24 AM): "fuck with me"?
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:37:28 AM): What?
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:37:31 AM): u hool

I think he meant fool - but he kept calling me a "hool". At this point, I was laughing my ass off.

valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:37:39 AM): Your English is atrocious
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:37:44 AM): u hool
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:37:47 AM): I have a boyfriend you stupid, fucking FUCK
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:37:49 AM): ur too
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:37:54 AM): What in the hell is WRONG with you?!
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:38:06 AM): nothing
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:38:08 AM): Do not EVER IM me again. EVER!
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:38:14 AM): u raskal
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:38:16 AM): You sick pervert
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:38:20 AM): stupid
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:38:24 AM): You are disgusting
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:38:26 AM): And sick
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:38:27 AM): u big hoool
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:38:29 AM): And perverted
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:38:32 AM): Fuck off, loser.
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:38:40 AM): And I'm posting this on my website
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:38:51 AM): u too
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:38:59 AM): I wouldn't "fuck with you" (which ISN'T how you say it, STUPID) if you were the last idiot on EARTH
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:39:10 AM): People like you should be shot.
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:39:28 AM): I'm going to post on my website how you said you didn't understand sex.
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:39:53 AM): vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:28:31 AM): valeria tell me that what is sex because this question asked me by my younger sister
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:40:01 AM): vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:29:33 AM): explain me about sex
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:40:12 AM): vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:30:50 AM): still i don't know about sex valeria_messalinna (4/8/2006 6:31:02 AM): Why not? vishal_gets (4/8/2006 6:31:34 AM): because never heard about it & feel it
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:45:06 AM): hello valeria
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:45:15 AM): Drop dead
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:45:29 AM): I have EVERY conversation we've EVER had saved on my computer
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:45:41 AM): and NOW going up on the INTERNET for ALL to see
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:46:33 AM): Have you GOOGLED "vishal_gets" lately?
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:47:02 AM): fuck off this
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:47:05 AM): NOPE
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:47:09 AM): You shouldn't have started it
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:47:16 AM): YOU shouldn't have asked the perverted question
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:47:17 AM): Have you?
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:47:19 AM): Googled your name?
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:47:21 AM): B/c it's ONLINE
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:47:26 AM): valeria stop this non sense
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:47:53 AM): You started it
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:47:57 AM): I don't put up with perverts
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:48:47 AM): fuckoff
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:48:54 AM): fuckoff

valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:48:56 AM): GOOGLE IT
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:48:56 AM): fuckoff
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:48:59 AM): fuckoff
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:49:00 AM): fuckoff
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:49:02 AM): fuckoff

valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:49:04 AM): YOU"RE INTERNET FAMOUS PERV
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:49:14 AM): And you're gonna be even MORE famous when I post THIS SHIT
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:49:20 AM): "I don't know about sex" LMAO
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:49:41 AM): fuckoff
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:49:49 AM): NOPE
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:49:52 AM): You started it
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:50:13 AM): lets change matter
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:50:14 AM): YOU are a pervert
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:50:18 AM): YOU are an idiot
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:50:20 AM): YOU are RUDE
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:50:25 AM): YOU ARE UNCOUTH
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:50:32 AM): YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:50:53 AM): i know how to fuck women
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:51:04 AM): and i also fuck women manytimes

valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:51:06 AM): I didn't say that moron
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:51:15 AM): You said the other day you didn't know how
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:51:16 AM): i also want to fuck u
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:51:19 AM): I have the conversation
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:51:25 AM): You aren't fucking me, pervert - you disgust me
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:51:36 AM): You don't have any respect for women is what I SAID
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:51:42 AM): if u want
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:51:52 AM): I'm going to post on the Internet how you said you didn't know about sex
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:51:57 AM): LOLOLOLOLOL
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:52:08 AM): You are a jerk who has NO respect for women.
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:52:25 AM): THAT IS WHY YOU ARE SINGLEAND LIVING AT HOME LIKE A DOUCHEBAG

This is what he has told me about himself in past convo's - single, 20 years of age, living with his parents - which are all too pointless and boring to post here. Here, though, is the snippet from the chat where he told me this:

vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:29:45 AM): valeria what tim their ?
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:29:58 AM): Early
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:30:11 AM): ok
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:34:06 AM): oh young lady where r u

valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:34:55 AM): Right here.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:35:16 AM): ok
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:37:54 AM): valeria now i am going because my time is over

valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:38:01 AM): Over?
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:38:10 AM): finish
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:38:20 AM): my mum waiting for me

valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:38:25 AM): You set a timer on yourself on your own computer?
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:38:32 AM): You live with your mother?
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:38:42 AM): ya
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:38:53 AM): i love her very much

valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:39:02 AM): I love mine, too, but I wouldn't live with her.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:40:06 AM): u know in india everybody liv with their parents
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:40:12 AM): No I didn't know that.
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:40:22 AM): Until what age?
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:40:40 AM): 50
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:41:07 AM): What if you get married and have children? You still live with your parents?
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:41:22 AM): ya
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:41:32 AM): You must have large homes.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:41:50 AM): ya
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:42:06 AM): i live with joint-family

valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:42:10 AM): Interesting.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:42:51 AM): its our india cultuer
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:42:58 AM): I see.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:43:23 AM): everybody respect their parents
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:44:09 AM): That's nice.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:45:31 AM): valeria ,plz come india & meet my family
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:45:47 AM): they love u very much

valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:46:12 AM): Are you smoking crack?
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:46:43 AM): Did you just ask me to come fly to another country to meet complete strangers who somehow, mysteriously, "love me" - a person they've never met. They don't even know my name.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:47:58 AM): its my respect
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:48:12 AM): Respect? It sounds like complete insanity to me.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:49:36 AM): every indian respect their guest when they visit
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:50:06 AM): Does every Indian invite "guests" that are complete strangers whose names they don't even know?
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:50:37 AM): but we r know eachother
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:50:43 AM): NO WE DO NOT
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:51:09 AM): how to say this
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:51:33 AM): It's simple. You don't know me. I don't know you.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:51:55 AM): but still i understand u r my friend
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:51:59 AM): No I am not
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:52:10 AM): I'm someone you talk to on the computer every now and again
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:52:51 AM): ...about nothing important or relevant, I might add.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:53:47 AM): ok
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:54:01 AM): I can't believe you think I would come to your country, much less to your house!!?
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:55:20 AM): i dont tell u that u come my home , i just reqest to u like friend
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:56:14 AM): Yeah, well, I can't afford to fly to India and even if I could, I wouldn't visit you.
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:56:24 AM): if u not interest change topic
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:56:44 AM): ok

valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:56:52 AM): I'm not interested - I'm not interested in having anything to do with you. Got it?
valeria_messalinna (3/6/2006 7:56:59 AM): Haven't you figured that out yet?
vishal_gets (3/6/2006 7:57:56 AM): no

vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:49:22 AM): open ur vagina & suck my dick
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:49:32 AM): I don't know about sex, valeria - tell me about sex LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:49:38 AM): You are SO STUIPD
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:49:45 AM): "My sister wants to know about sex" LOLOLOLOLOL
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:49:49 AM): open ur vagina & suck my dick
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:49:51 AM): open ur vagina & suck my dick
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:49:52 AM): open ur vagina & suck my dick
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:49:55 AM): open ur vagina & suck my dick
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:49:56 AM): open ur vagina & suck my dick
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:49:59 AM): Is that supposed to be an insult?
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:50:02 AM): You are SO DUMB
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:50:07 AM): That doesn't even MAKE SENSE STUPID
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:50:23 AM): no y r
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:50:28 AM): u r stupid
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:50:31 AM): u r stupid
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:50:38 AM): No, I'm not
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:50:41 AM): I'm very smart
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:50:41 AM): madar chod
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:51:00 AM): At least I'm not a LOSER looking for sex advice on the INTERNET, fucker
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:51:28 AM): i also want to fuck u
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:51:48 AM): so ready for fuck
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:52:10 AM): You are a jerk who has NO respect for women.
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:52:19 AM): THAT IS WHY YOU ARE SINGLE
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:52:34 AM): i am already married
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:52:40 AM): and i have two chld
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:52:42 AM): Good, I'll contact your wife
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:52:50 AM): And tell her you've been LYING to women on the Internet
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:52:56 AM): And trying to have cyber sex like a LOSER
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:53:07 AM): i havent any contact of her
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:53:13 AM): If your wife ever GOOGLES "vishal_gets" she'll see with her own eyes, STUPID
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:53:25 AM): She'll see it herself
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:53:36 AM): madar chod

vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:53:42 AM): bhen chod
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:53:46 AM): fuck off
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:53:51 AM): i hate u

valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:53:57 AM): I've always hated you
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:54:00 AM): I was playing with you
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:54:02 AM): are ready to fuck with me
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:54:06 AM): But you started it, so
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:54:16 AM): Hope your wife is computer illiterate, otherwise, she's going to see all of this
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:54:24 AM): B/c I'm going to post the rest of it
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:54:49 AM): Might wanna change your YM name, perv
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:55:35 AM): You are the dumbest, lowest life form - cheating on your wife and the mother of your kids???!!!!
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:55:39 AM): You sicken me
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:56:14 AM): Just WAIT til I post THIS SHIT
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:56:19 AM): She's going to know all about your little game
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:56:45 AM): dont do this
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:56:50 AM): It's done stupid. It's BEEN done
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:57:00 AM): Leave women in relationships alone and stop screwing around on your wife FUCKBAG
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:57:24 AM): It is DONE and it's been on there for months. It's gonig to be even better and funnier when I post THIS SHIT
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:57:38 AM): You admitted to lying. You admitted to fucking around on your wife and the mother of your poor, two kids
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:57:53 AM): I know what you do for a living
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:57:57 AM): I know where you live
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:58:01 AM): Your wife will find this
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:58:19 AM): And hopefully LEAVE your lying, cheating, scumbag ASS. She deserves BETTER THAN YOU
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:58:33 AM): ok
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:58:36 AM): bye
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:58:38 AM): i dont want talk with u

vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:58:41 AM): bye
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:58:49 AM): I NEVER wanted to talk to you
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:58:53 AM): But your STUPID ASS kept IMing me
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:58:56 AM): So NOW
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:59:00 AM): I'm your worst fucking nightmare, buddy
vishal_gets (4/12/2006 6:59:06 AM): go to hell
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:59:15 AM): Eh, you wish
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 6:59:25 AM): Your life is going to BE hell when your wife finds these chat transcripts
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 7:00:10 AM): The Internet knows your name
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 7:00:14 AM): The Internet knows your game
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 7:01:00 AM): Your wife WILL find it
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 7:01:03 AM): Your friends WILL find it
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 7:01:08 AM): Your co-workers WILL find it
valeria_messalinna (4/12/2006 7:01:17 AM): The poor women you've been lying to on the Internet WILL find it

Oh, don't worry - it isn't the end. I'm not NEARLY done fucking with Mr. Vishal here. I urge each and every one of you who has a spare moment to contact Mr. Vishal via YM and have some fun with him. Tell him you saw him online, but don't tell him where. Pretend to be looking for love - whatever floats your boat. Think of his poor wife and kids - and let him have it (I'll post any correspondence here and at the Halls of Stupid).

NOTE:  He just messaged me as hasmukh_mak - claiming to be a sexy, bored Pakistani - enjoy!

He’s Baaaack!

Wednesday, April 5th, 2006

Remember thompson4life2006 from the other day? You know, my lovely April Fools Day IM-chatter? Today he came back and got me on another of my profiles; one he'd been sending messages to for a couple of days and I'd been ignoring. Today I decided to see what he wanted:

thompson4life2006: hi
fiery_scorp: What do you want now?
thompson4life2006: u come borring
thompson4life2006: why
thompson4life2006: any thing the problem

fiery_scorp: Yes, why are you still IMing me?
thompson4life2006: i m still in love
thompson4life2006: and i need ur love

fiery_scorp: You're not in love with me, moron.
thompson4life2006: pls try and consider me
fiery_scorp: What in the hell is WRONG with you??!
fiery_scorp: I don't even KNOW you!
thompson4life2006: nothing wrong with me
thompson4life2006: are ok

fiery_scorp: Obviously something is
thompson4life2006: i need ur love
fiery_scorp: if you're telling COMPLETE STRANGERS you are in love with them
thompson4life2006: that is all ineed from u
fiery_scorp: Stupid.
fiery_scorp: You don't KNOW me.
fiery_scorp: So you don't NEED my love.
fiery_scorp: You need your head examined.
thompson4life2006: listen for ur self intrested
thompson4life2006: i m john by name

fiery_scorp: I don't *care*.
thompson4life2006: thompson was my sencond name
fiery_scorp: Leave me alone!
fiery_scorp: Why are you bothering me?
thompson4life2006: i m fronm uk
fiery_scorp: LEAVE ME ALONE
thompson4life2006: u must give me all i need from u
fiery_scorp: I don't have to give you shit, asshole.
fiery_scorp: Now fuck off before I get my boyfriend on here!
thompson4life2006: u most do
thompson4life2006: ok

fiery_scorp: LEAVE
thompson4life2006: one thing u shoud now is that i now some other girls befor u but my love is for un only
fiery_scorp: Stupid fuck - you have NEVER TALKED TO ME BEFORE
fiery_scorp: EVER!
thompson4life2006: ok
thompson4life2006: let be a friend
thompson4life2006: i mean a good friend

fiery_scorp: No. I don't talk to idiots.
fiery_scorp: Or crazy people, and you are both.
fiery_scorp: Now go away and do not EVER i.m. me AGAIN
thompson4life2006: u are me only one i have ever love in my life u can not go away from me like that
thompson4life2006: ok

fiery_scorp: You don't love me
fiery_scorp: This is the first time we have ever chatted
thompson4life2006: i loveu
fiery_scorp: No.
fiery_scorp: You do not.
fiery_scorp: This is the first time we have ever chatted.
thompson4life2006: no
fiery_scorp: Yes
thompson4life2006: u dont remm
fiery_scorp: No
thompson4life2006: ok
fiery_scorp: When did we chat?
thompson4life2006: we u permit me in ur life
fiery_scorp: And when was this?
thompson4life2006: i have a great love u
fiery_scorp: No you don't.
fiery_scorp: When did we chat?
thompson4life2006: i meet u in the chat room sometime ago
thompson4life2006: but have forgot

fiery_scorp: Stupid.
fiery_scorp: I don't GO in chatrooms
fiery_scorp: You just added me to your IM list a few days ago
fiery_scorp: You are fucking LYING
fiery_scorp: Now piss the fuck off
thompson4life2006: ok
thompson4life2006: do u know if im the lucky one for u

fiery_scorp: I know that you are NOT
fiery_scorp: My BOYFRIEND IS!
thompson4life2006: why do say this
fiery_scorp: Because I love my boyfriend and you are a complete psycho stranger on the Internet.
thompson4life2006: are u not an adult
fiery_scorp: Are you?
fiery_scorp: Because you aren't acting like it.
fiery_scorp: Now take me off of your IM list and leave me be!
thompson4life2006: why
fiery_scorp: Because I don't want you to IM me anymore - you're a nut!
fiery_scorp: I'm not looking for love from some foreign dumbass - I HAVE a boyfriend I've been with for almost FIVE YEARS and I'm very happy with him.
fiery_scorp: Do you understand???
fiery_scorp: I have a boyfriend, I'm in a relationship. I'm NOT FUCKING LOOKING!?
fiery_scorp: Clear enough for you>
thompson4life2006: see un some other time
fiery_scorp: No you will not
fiery_scorp: Because I'm putting your stupid ass ON IGNORE
thompson4life2006: io well
thompson4life2006: ok

fiery_scorp: Stupid
thompson4life2006: go away from me list
thompson4life2006: are u ok

fiery_scorp: Take me off your list, stupid
fiery_scorp: Stop IMing me. Go away forever.
thompson4life2006: i have done it
fiery_scorp: Good.
fiery_scorp: Now leave.
thompson4life2006: but u we look for me
fiery_scorp: NO
thompson4life2006: when is time
fiery_scorp: NO TIME
fiery_scorp: BYE FOREVER
fiery_scorp: I'll never look for you - got it?
fiery_scorp: I don't LIKE you
thompson4life2006: i can feed u and ur bf
fiery_scorp: WhAT???
fiery_scorp: Feed us what, you psycho?!
thompson4life2006: for many years with out geting warry
fiery_scorp: What are you TALKING about??????????????
fiery_scorp: I believe that you are mentally disturbed.
thompson4life2006: pls go away now me heren u give me panis
thompson4life2006: pls go bye

fiery_scorp: Please die
fiery_scorp: Feed us?!
fiery_scorp: What in the hell are you SAYING?!
fiery_scorp: I can't stop laughing at you!!!!!
fiery_scorp: Panis, lmao.

It's nice to know The Worm and I no longer need worry about food, since Mr. Thompson here intends to feed us until the end of living time and will never get "warry" of it.

Sadly, Not an April Fool’s Joke

Saturday, April 1st, 2006

Nope, this really happened - about ten minutes ago.  How do they always find me?

thompson4life2006: hi
vamp_lynx: Hi.
thompson4life2006: how is ur day
vamp_lynx: Pretty good.
thompson4life2006: baby my name is john
thompson4life2006: from uk
thompson4life2006: let mee go stright to my point
thompson4life2006: i m intrested

vamp_lynx: Interested in what?
thompson4life2006: in ur lov
vamp_lynx: What love?
thompson4life2006: relation with
thompson4life2006: yeas

vamp_lynx: That's interesting; considering we're in different countries.
vamp_lynx: Do you normally want to "love" complete strangers?
thompson4life2006: i know u most be a good girl
vamp_lynx: And how do you "know" this?
thompson4life2006: and bisad u are making piont but is becuse im in lost love
vamp_lynx: What?
thompson4life2006: that is why i did not ask u for ur asl
vamp_lynx: Why not?
thompson4life2006: pls introduc ur self to me
thompson4life2006: pls

vamp_lynx: Did you look at my profile?
vamp_lynx: You don't know squat about me, yet you 're "lost in love"?
vamp_lynx: Exactly what kind of drugs are you on?
thompson4life2006: not smoking
vamp_lynx: What?
thompson4life2006: i have see ur prof
vamp_lynx: Ok.
thompson4life2006: im real intrested
vamp_lynx: In what?
thompson4life2006: ur place
thompson4life2006: ur pic
thompson4life2006: ur age

vamp_lynx: You're interested in...my place?
thompson4life2006: yea
vamp_lynx: What does that mean?
thompson4life2006: years
vamp_lynx: ???
thompson4life2006: i mean i m ok with ur prof
vamp_lynx: And?
thompson4life2006: pls i want u to invert me to ur life
vamp_lynx: Invert?!
vamp_lynx: What are you TALKING about?
thompson4life2006: now and i will b with u for ever
thompson4life2006: im saying u sould consider my love
thompson4life2006: ok

vamp_lynx: Excuse me, freak.  Perhaps you didn't see the part of my profile that read "long-term relationship".  And even if I wasn't - I sure as hell wouldn't want to be with someone who's talking about LOVE w/in the first two sentences of EVER talking to me!
thompson4life2006: i m the lucky for u
vamp_lynx: BYE
thompson4life2006: pls just give me a chance
thompson4life2006: for a 2 b f
thompson4life2006: pls talk to me

vamp_lynx: I HAVE a boyfriend, stupid.
thompson4life2006: if u are in love pls chat with me as a lover
thompson4life2006: ok

All the Freaks Have Internet Access

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006

Just thought I'd share this little convo that transpired a few minutes ago; how do these people find me?

xtreme4jc2000: lady lynx
xtreme4jc2000: greetings

vamp_lynx: Hi
xtreme4jc2000: such haunting eyes
xtreme4jc2000: very sexy
xtreme4jc2000: *smiles baringfangs*
xtreme4jc2000: does this vampiress have more to show then just here eyes???

vamp_lynx: Thanks.
vamp_lynx: Nope; not on this computer.
xtreme4jc2000: i see
xtreme4jc2000: and what do your eyes like to do *felexes a little to give your eyes a show*

vamp_lynx: I generally use them for sight, but they're decent for suffocating bugs as well.
xtreme4jc2000: whatof vampire men?
xtreme4jc2000: waks closer caressing your hair
xtreme4jc2000: do they like to observe them?

vamp_lynx: Sometimes.
xtreme4jc2000: how about enjoy them
vamp_lynx: My eyes?
xtreme4jc2000: no
xtreme4jc2000: your body

vamp_lynx: I wouldn't know, since I've never met one.
xtreme4jc2000: *my hands caress your hair and then down your body*
xtreme4jc2000: well now you have
xtreme4jc2000: or would you rather have the pleasure of a mortal man?

vamp_lynx: Yes, my boyfriend.
vamp_lynx: And he gets pretty miffed when I consort with the undead, so goodnight.

The Dumbest Person to Ever IM Me

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006

That's saying something, I know. But I thought you guys would get a kick out of this one.

bigsege12: hello
bigsege12: care 4 a chat

bigsege12: u there?

vamp_lynx: Yes. hi.
bigsege12: so was the name?
vamp_lynx: What?
bigsege12: what is ur name ?
vamp_lynx: Shanna.
bigsege12: am emmanuel
bigsege12: whee u from shanna

vamp_lynx: Did you look at my profile? B/c all of that info is on there.
bigsege12: no
bigsege12: whao u look gorgeous shanna
bigsege12: so what state u from

vamp_lynx: One of the southern ones.
bigsege12: what is the state
vamp_lynx: If I wanted that info to be known, I'd of posted it in my profile.
bigsege12: ok
bigsege12: so what do u do for a livn

vamp_lynx: I play with computers.
bigsege12: huh
bigsege12: kool
bigsege12: so u got a cam pls?

vamp_lynx: No.
bigsege12: micx
vamp_lynx: Micx? No, I do not have a microphone.
bigsege12: huh
bigsege12: so tell me is that ur real picx

vamp_lynx: No, genius, I put up a picture of someone else. Of course it's me!
vamp_lynx: Why would you ask someone something like that?
bigsege12: u re gorgeous shanna
vamp_lynx: Ok.
vamp_lynx: Thanks.
bigsege12: u welcome
bigsege12: u got a fiance?

vamp_lynx: No.
bigsege12: kool
bigsege12: so what part of the southern re u in?

vamp_lynx: Haven't we gone over this?
bigsege12: what
bigsege12: i mean pls?

bigsege12: i luv to meet u in a person

vamp_lynx: Yeah, that isn't going to happen.
bigsege12: why?
vamp_lynx: B/c I don't meet complete strangers off of the Internet.
bigsege12: huh
bigsege12: it can work girl

vamp_lynx: What can work?
bigsege12: we meeting
vamp_lynx: No, it can't. For one, you don't even know where I live - we could be states away from one another. For two, I don't do that.
vamp_lynx: Do you normally want to meet people after glancing at one picture of them?
vamp_lynx: Here's another one: what part of "long-term relationship" didn't you understand from my profile?
bigsege12: come on
vamp_lynx: Come on WHAT?
bigsege12: am also single
bigsege12: i need some one in my life okay

vamp_lynx: Stupid. I'm NOT SINGLE
vamp_lynx: Can you read?
vamp_lynx: Here's an idea: try finding someone somewhere other than THE INTERNET.
bigsege12: i ask u and u said yeah
vamp_lynx: Yeah what?
vamp_lynx: What did you ask me?
bigsege12: maybe u ve fiance
vamp_lynx: I don't have a fiance.
bigsege12: that is it
vamp_lynx: Huh?
bigsege12: i want us to be friend
vamp_lynx: What is it?
bigsege12: yeah
bigsege12: i need someone to be with shanna

vamp_lynx: Well try looking for someone who isn't already taken.
vamp_lynx: I mean, what in the hell is wrong with you?
bigsege12: so u re vtaken now?
vamp_lynx: I TOLD YOU I AM NOT SINGLE!!!!!!!! My profile says LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP. I don't know how I can make it more fucking plain!!!???
bigsege12: huh
vamp_lynx: Huh what? I have a boyfriend, you fucking ignorant fuck!
vamp_lynx: "Long-term relationship"
vamp_lynx: Duh.
vamp_lynx: Are you smoking crack or something?
bigsege12: huh
bigsege12: how do u mean

vamp_lynx: Omg. I cannot believe you are this stupid. How old are you and where are you from?
bigsege12: am 29
bigsege12: ny

vamp_lynx: That's very sad to hear.
bigsege12: so what up
vamp_lynx: With what?
bigsege12: how do u mean
vamp_lynx: You said "so what up". I asked "With what?"
vamp_lynx: It's fairly simple.
bigsege12: huh
vamp_lynx: Goodbye, ignoramus.
bigsege12: bye
vamp_lynx: I hope no one paid much for your education b/c it was a waste of money.

As always, see more at the Halls of Stupid.