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Archive for the 'Stupidity' Category

Just How Stupid Can Someone Be?

Friday, July 11th, 2008

I'll preface this newsworthy-bit of stupidty with a quick explanation, for those not in the know...

A Fuelman card is one used by companies that have field personnel, delivery people, fleet drivers, or the like on roadways for gas purchases.  The gas card allows companies to keep up with employees' fueling and gives them a way to pay a set monthly fee for gas usage.

That being said, let me introduce you to a local man by the name of James Cotton.  I'm unaware how long Mr. Cotton, aged forty-three years, has been an employee of Mockler Beverage but what is apparent is that somewhere in the past couple of weeks, he believed he had stumbled upon a sure proof way to garner some extra cash-on-the-side for himself.

Being the resourceful man he obviously is, and realizing the hurt the high gas prices are having on people's pocketbooks, Mr. Cotton realized he was in a position to help ease the locals' gas woes while padding his own pocketbook.

By now, I'd imagine, you do realize where this is going.

Yes, for reasons unknown to the more sensible members of the population, Mr. Cotton seemed unaware that his employer could or would keep tabs on his gas-spending purchases.  Though it seems hard to fathom that even such an astute individual as Mr. Cotton has proven himself to be here could not have had an inkling that the company's accountants might notice $7,000 in charges to his company-issued Fuelman card; even moreso considering those charges were accrued within only a two week period.

Mr. Cotton, it seems, was selling gas to other people - on the company's dollar.  Perhaps he thought the Fuelman card was simply a "free gas" card?  Perhaps he believed it was not monitored?  Perhaps he didn't think at all.

Something tells me the latter may be the correct answer.

Original article: Man arrested for allegedly misuing company fuel card, WAFB Channel 9, Baton Rouge.

Can You Handle…Pipelayer?

Thursday, May 17th, 2007

Random web surfing can lead to some pretty amazing finds. From all out hilarious to completely out-there weird, regardless of what you find, it's not usually something you were prepared for.

I can safely say that nothing - not a solitary, single thing in my life - could have prepared me for this YouTube video (found courtesy of Pointless Waste of Time's enlightening piece on the video, "Now... Go! Hump the ottoman!").

I encourage - no insist - that you take a few moments of your time to watch Pretty Ricky - Late Night Special - the whole way through. Please be sure you are over 18, and are not holding any liquid in your mouth which may end up all over your screen after exiting your nose.

I'll be waiting...

I know - I know. Those are 3 minutes and 13 seconds of your life you will never get back, but I really want us to discuss what we just saw here.

If ever there was a time in my life that I truly wish I were a fly on the wall, the day these young men sat down and came up with this idea would have been it. And, as PWOT pointed out, this was not a random, grab the camera on a whim and shoot kind of deal. This was planned...choreographed even! This was discussed, plotted out, rehashed, and likely practiced numerous times. And, as PWOT said, they edited it, obviously watching it numerous times BEFORE posting it to YouTube. Therefore, I cannot fathom why, at no point during any of that, did any one of them not stand up and say, "What's up? This is fucking stupid."

Did they think this would attract chicks? Did they think girls would be beating down their doors after seeing them gyrating against an ottoman surrounded by their male friends humping the air, the wall, and damn near each other? Has a single one of them ever even had sex?

It confounds the mind trying to determine whether they were trying to be funny or honestly trying to be sexy. Unfortunately, I think it's the latter and that makes this all the more painful to watch...though still fairly easy to laugh at.

I just had to share - because, no matter what stupid things you might have done in your past, you can take comfort knowing there is no video floating around on the Internet of yourself humping an ottoman with your friends.

Eye-Popping Stupidity

Sunday, December 24th, 2006

Yahoo! Answers always gives me a laugh. While there are some thought-worthy questions and decent answers, most of the content is pure fluff that consists of appallingly horrible grammar and spelling.

It would seem appearing as literate and mature is no longer a priority; nor does it seem to matter if you can convey yourself in a way that is understandable to your target audience.

To give you an example, this deep and ponderous question:

What color eyes are attractive? dark brown almost black, honey brown, green, hazel, or blue

Received this interesting - and eye-opening - answer:

Personally I'd go with Green or Blue.. Although my Boyfriend has brown eyes then tend to blend in too much with his hair and things. I like eyes that pop out GORGOUS!

Color, personally, isn't as big a turn on as eyes that stay in one's head...but perhaps that's just me.

Random Happenings

Thursday, March 25th, 2004

Interesting tidbits

Just a few cool and strange random things have been happening lately and I felt like sharing.

Stella's New 'Sneaks
With her new 15" wheels, Stella, my Miata, is lookin' mighty fine. Now, however, I have this strange phobia about curbs - whenever I pass near one I am silently panicking inside that I may brush up against one and scratch up my new rims. Curbs are the devil and I'm deathly afraid of them - I now try to avoid them at all costs.

The coolest thing, though, had to be the other day. I was driving out of a very small little community out in Prairieville this past Saturday. I was at a four-way stop, about to turn left. It was a gorgeous day and I had the top down. As I turned my head to the right to check for traffic I saw this young girl on a bicycle riding up down and the street. I'd say she was about 10 or 11, but who can tell how old kids today are? Her eyes lit up and she yelled out, "Wow, tight car!" I laughed, waved and yelled "Thank you!" As I drove off, I saw her in the rearview mirror waving at me. Tight car. That was just great.

Betty or Betty Sue?
I was in the waiting room of the doctor's office yesterday, happily reading the first Jamie book when a nurse opened the door. I heard her call out in a loud voice, "Betty Smith." No one answered. She called out again, even louder. Still nothing. The third time I, along with everyone else, glanced up and around the room. The nurse looked down at the chart in her hands and then tried again, "Betty Sue Smith?" Right then a woman sitting in a seat closest to the door the nurse was standing at jumped up, "That's me!" she sang out cheerfully and started grabbing her things. I couldn't figure out if she just didn't put two and two together and realize it might just be her the nurse was looking for, or she if she had some kind of hard-on about her name and refused to answer to anything else. The nurse looked at her like she wanted to throttle her.

You Waving at Me?
So I was trying to be nice again (will I ever learn my lesson?) and let a guy out. The light turned green, the parking lot he was leaving was right in front of me, so I politely paused to let him out. Dumbshit was on the phone, so subsequently driving with one hand, and he pulled out too far - swerving into the other lane. The vehicle there paused, not politely but out of necessity, and he waved at the guy. He gave the "thank-you-for-letting-me-out" wave to the guy he almost sideswiped, but he didn't give me a wave. He looked me right in the eye before pulling out, and knew I was letting him out - but he didn't thank me. He thanked the other guy for letting him be an asshole and swerve into his lane because he was talking rather than driving. I had half a mind to ram him from behind after that - but I figured he wasn't worth messing up my "tight car" over.

Money, Not Honey
I returned home yesterday and saw that I had a message on our new answering machine. Baret was standing right there, so I hit Play to hear this older black woman slurring into the phone, "Ya know ya there, so ya better pick up. It's not money - oh no - it's honey, baby. Ahhhh....fuck it." Or something along those lines.