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Archive for the 'Shitty Drivers' Category

To The Whore In The Four-Door Jeep

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007

The days of common courtesy and earning your own way are long dead. Instead, we're stuck with a burgeoning new generation that contains a frightening large majority of whiny, useless, spoon-fed, punks who think the world owes them and their shit doesn't stink. They are a throw-away generation; a mass of coddled brats who broke every flashy electronic and wrecked every expensive car their parents bought them because they had no concept of respect for personal property. If it broke, their parents simply bought them another one. They had allowances and their own credit cards, yet never lifted a finger to do a chore. They never had to earn or want for anything, so they never learned to appreciate what they had.

Today, most of them are in college, plowing away at useless degrees and partying like rock stars while their parents foot the bill. They're obnoxious and rather proud of it, and couldn't give a shit less who they step on or over as they tumble effortlessly into the high-paying jobs that Daddy's connections will get them. The ideas of common courtesy, respect, etiquette, and philanthropy are completely foreign to them.

The Worm and I happened to have a run-in with one of these wastes of oxygen just a few minutes earlier, and I'm here to show you - by example - exactly what type of people I am talking about.

We were driving home in the last throes of Baton Rouge traffic after picking up my car at the mechanics (I now have a working a/c). I was in my Miata, and The Worm was behind me in our Dodge truck. We were sitting at the light on Lee Drive, waiting to cross over Perkins, and continue on to College Drive. There is a building being built on the corner of Lee and Perkins, most like an addition to the assisted living facility next to it. At this construction site, was a new, black, four-door Jeep; they're all the rage these days with college kids whose fathers believe their children should drive around campus in leather seats.

As you know, I am - when driving - paying attention to everything going on around me. I noted the Jeep, its front end sort of pointing awkwardly towards Lee and Perkins. It was occupied and running, but the person behind the wheel was rifling through papers in her lap and not watching traffic nor looking to get in and her blinkers were not on.

I assumed she was waiting for someone and did not need to get out. Yet, the minivan in front of me paused for a second, when the light turned green, to let her out - yet she did not go. Now, obviously I was within reason to assume the flashy vehicle did not need to get into traffic and I proceeded to follow the minivan and go...

It was at this moment, without looking and without warning, the black Jeep began to simply pull out in front of me - me and the umpteen number of vehicles behind me all patiently waiting to go through the green light. Surprised, I slammed on my brakes - I was moving after at this time - and horned, thinking perhaps she hadn't seen me (that happens when you're in a Miata).

Whether she saw me or not apparently did not matter to this bright youth of tomorrow - all that mattered was that she was going, and that was that. I learned this when she, in response to my screeching brakes and bleeting horn, stopped midway out into the lane, turned around in her seat and looked at me through her driver's side window, grinned at me as if to say "There is NOTHING you can do about it" and flipped me off.

The Worm, behind me, saw this going on and was as shocked and infuriated as me. He began laying on his horn, which I was now doing non-stop. She was holding up an entire line of traffic simply to let me know that when she wants to go, honey, she gets to go. Daddy says so.

She then proceeded to go as slowly as she possibly could, and before she took a right turn onto Perkins, made sure to spin her muddy tires and spray the front of my car with mud.

You know, pulling out in front of me is one thing.  That's downright shitty to begin with but, screw it, it happens.  But to make a point of stopping - and halting traffic - just to point out to me that "Hey, yeah, I DID IT and you can't do SHIT about it!" is just beyond the pale.  I mean, what a fucking stupid cuntrag whore.

Still, if you think I'm taking this much more calmly than normal, you're right. It isn't that I didn't want to pull the bitch out of her pricey Jeep in Daddy's name by her little blonde ponytail and bitchslap every last little bit of sense out of her. It's not that I wasn't mouthing "FUCKING MOVE, YOU FUCKING BITCH!" to her during the entire episode, either (oh, you know I was). It's just that, after the anger and shock faded, I was just depressed. Depressed at a society that is being taken over by bitchy, stuck-up kids (this girl was about college-age) with no regard for anything other than themselves and their own agenda.

Common courtesy and respect are dead. I saw them run over today by a stupid whore in a four-door Jeep. That, folks, is just fucking depressing.

Why Me?

Friday, August 25th, 2006

It's been awhile since I've had any asshat run-ins - mainly because I was sick from work for two full weeks this month and had no reason to be on the road. Yet I knew such bliss, in a city full of terrible drivers, had to come to an end sooner or later.

Today it did. I've been trying - honestly - to be less aggressive on the road. True, my aggressiveness was born of super hyped defenses in manuevering the roads of the city I live in and an ever-growing abhorrence for 90% of the drivers around me, but, I have to admit, that's no excuse. Yes, I became aggressive out of necessity and sheer outrage at the terrible driving I witnessed on a daily basis and I'm still a better driver than most - but I needed to calm down a bit; stop trying to drive my Miata like it was a Hummer, in other words.

And so I have. I only listen to calm, slower music (no more KoRn, Prodigy, etc. - which sucks) in the car and I try to just "go with the flow". Still, there are assholes on the road, even if you're being level-headed and courteous. One nearly clipped me today.

The guy decided, apparently, that the person in front of him in the left lane was going too slow for his taste, so he thought he could speed up and jump over in my lane to get around him. Problem was, I was speeding up because the person in front of me had just turned off on a side street. So Jackass, just starts coming over and I realize his back end is about to seriously clip my front end. I slam on my brakes, laying on the horn, hoping he'll move back in his lane in case I'm not able to stop short enough. He doesn't (horns mean nothing to drivers around here, remember?) and, thankfully, he doesn't clip me (I'm good with my brakes) and the person behind me doesn't slam into me from my stopping so short.

Then - wait for it - wait for it - (you already know, don't you?) - just wait....yes, the fucktard flipped me off. You know, for blowing my horn at him - because he was about to hit me! He continued doing this zipping in and out of cars, not caring if he was cutting people off, on the two-lane, 45 mph highway, and was soon out of sight.

Lovely way to start off a Friday, now isn't it?

Proving My Point

Wednesday, May 10th, 2006

Tuesdays are The Worm's "office days" and, therefore, our lunch-together days. As we were driving to one of our usual lunch haunts on a busy four-lane street in Baton Rouge we almost saw an accident. It would have been one of those "stupid" accidents - the kind that makes you scratch your head and say, "How in the hell did you not see this person?"

A car was coming in the far left lane going left and a person was pulling out of a side street to go left as well. The person pulls out and almost straight into the side of this white car. The funny thing was, it took the white car a moment to realize they were about to be hit, and the person inside swerved and honked at the very last minute.

Do I even need to tell you that both drivers were blabbing into cell phones?

Had Driver #1, pulling out of the side street, had their attention on the road and not the conversation in her ear, she would have plainly seen the white car directly in front of her. It was a clear day and there was hardly no other traffic around (we were coming up on this little scene and far away enough not to be involved). Unless you are displaying amazing amounts of ineptitude and inattention, there is no way you can pull directly out and almost drive dead-on into the side of another car (a white car, at that) when there is nothing else going on around you.

Had Driver #2 not been gabbing instead of driving, he would have seen the car headed straight for his driver's side door. In fact, had he been paying attention, he likely would have seen her pulling out just before he got up to the spot where she almost hit him. This is Baton Rouge - people pull out in front of you or towards your vehicle a lot. Whenever I see a car on a side street, I'm watching it - waiting; more than half of the time they do it. This guy didn't see Driver #1 until she was almost sitting in his lap.

And why were our two drivers so unoblivious to their surroundings? Could it have been the cell phones glued to their ears? Sources point to "yes".

It's not to say the near-accident wouldn't have happened for other reasons - sure, there are other things that could have been distracting them. Certainly it might have almost happened even if either/or hadn't been on the phone. But the point is, I see shit like this every day. 99% of the inattentive drivers I come across also happen to be talking on the phone. You do the math.

Traffic Will Be the Death of Me

Monday, September 26th, 2005

Oh dear god.

It was Monday, and I was having trouble getting up so I figured, what the fuck, I'll just go in at 8am and work the regular shift.

Big Mistake.

I got off at 4:30 and started the exodus home. I was doing pretty good, taking all of my favorite back streets, until I came to the last big leg of my jaunt home. It's a major highway that spans across a few other major highways, and traffic on it is always a bear. But today...oh god today...

A little bit down the road, a drive that, under regular fucky-traffic circumstances, could take 5 or so minutes - a little drive that, on a week night with no traffic takes two or less minutes - took me almost thirty minutes to get through. We're talking around 4 and a half miles here!! It was horrible. Is there anything worse than sitting in that non-moving mass of cars just.....W A I T I N G?

No, there isn't.

Baton Rouge Drivers; Gotta Love ‘Em

Thursday, September 15th, 2005

Today's Baton Rouge Traffic Alert Level is OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS!!

So I just had to share this interesting bad driver experience that just happened to me when I ran out to grab some lunch (which is why I normally don't leave my office for lunch).

I finish up my McDonald's visit, get my food and all, and pull up a bit to leave. But this is one of the McDonald's with the a sometimes-moving lane next to the drive-thru lane, so I stop and turn around to see if anyone is coming. People are; there are two vehicles - a big truck and a beat-up old blue minivan that is crawling.

No problem. So I inch forward a bit more as the truck passes me so that the guy behind me can get close enough to the window to get his food. As I'm stopping - and I'm talking I was inching - you could barely tell I was moving - the woman in the blue minivan lays on her horn at me and slams on her brakes (which wasn't very momentous since she was crawling, too). I wonder what the fuck her problem is - I'm sure not about to hit her, considering I'm at a dead stop. She passes me - ever so slowly - and is giving me the most evil pair of eyes imaginable.

I kind of shake my head at her, like, "What?!" and mouth "I saw you - I SEE YOU!" This seemed to make her angry - go figure, so she stopped again and started yelling out the rolled-down window (I doubt this van had a/c) and throwing her arm out - obviously gesticulating madly.

I'm thinking, this bitch is crazy. So I ignore her as I pull behind her and she crawls up to the exit - which exits into a parking lot. Then she stops. She just sits there and doesn't move. Another car comes up behind me and we're just sitting there, and I've about had it with this non-driving, psycho whore so I lay on the horn at her.

She inches forward just enough for me to get through (because I'm in a Miata - ha!) and as I turn right and speed off, she yells at me, "There's a newborn baby in here!!" And I SO wanted to yell back, "Then you should learn how to FUCKING DRIVE!"

Perhaps if she'd laid off the crack-pipe long enough to let a coherent thought pop into her empty head, she'd of realized that she and her newborn baby were in no real danger - and that the REAL danger was simply HER BEHIND THE WHEEL.

What a fucking dumbass.

Baton Rouge Traffic Alert Level

Tuesday, September 13th, 2005

Baton Rouge Traffic Alert Baton Rouge traffic was a clusterfucky mess long before the city's population suddenly doubled in size; now, it is a motherfucking nightmare.

Even working the "non" regular shift (7-3:30) hasn't helped. Traffic, all day - every day, is like rush hour.

The problem is that, along with the already-horribly inept Baton Rouge drivers, you have a mess of already-insane and psychotic New Orleans drivers who don't know the area - so they're constantly slamming on their brakes, missing turns and cutting in front of you to try and get over to where they suddenly realized they need to be. Or maybe that's just par for the course; New Orleans drivers really are crazy.

People pulling out in front of you is the norm around here - I live with one foot hovering over the brake in anticipation of it because it's such a common occurrence. Now, naturally, it's much worse. I get pretty agitated when someone pulls out in front of me and I have to slow down or brake a bit; but when you pull out in front of me and I have to slam on my brakes so hard that I'm sure my tires are going to start screeching before I can come to a stop inches away from your bumper, we have a problem. This happened yesterday, and so I honked. I almost hit her, I figured the honk was deserved. Do you know what that bitch did?! She flipped ME the bird!!!

If I didn't love my Stella so much and Baret wouldn't have killed me, I would've rammed that whore! So I flipped her back off, and she flipped me back off - and this went on for quite a few minutes, this flipping each other back off until I gave her a thumbs up hand gesture and mouthed because the whole thing was so ridiculous. She was wrong, and she just couldn't admit it. I bet if I'd of hit her (which I almost did) she'd of blamed me.

Every one of my friends calls me up in the evenings to complain about how horrible the drive home was, and we all go over the almost-wrecks we nearly got into. It's that bad.

Think about it. Baton Rouge overfloweth long before this mess - already its streets and highways weren't equipped to handle the growing amount of traffic we were seeing. Baton Rouge had kind of outgrown itself. Now, the city - overnight almost - doubles in size so you can just imagine.

Due to the rising problem of terrible traffic in the city of Baton Rouge, I have created the Baton Rouge Traffic Alert advisory. You should see it up on the left there. Now, when I talk about the god-awful traffic, I have a reference point to show you just how scary and threatening it is.

Today's Baton Rouge Traffic Alert is at RED.

Save a Life – Learn to Drive

Monday, August 8th, 2005

Saturday night my brother's young girlfriend was in a car accident. Thankfully, she's okay - shaken up and bruised, but okay.

On her way home from work a young boy ran a red light causing her to hit him. He admitted to her that this was his second wreck this year.

I rant and rave a lot on here about the majority of our populations bad driving habits, but it is something I take very seriously. When I'm in my car, I am always conscious of the fact that I'm driving a potential deadly weapon - and that it only takes a fraction of a second for something to go wrong and someone (maybe even me) to end up dead.

Because we drive so much it becomes second nature. We don't think about it. People talk on the phone, eat lunch, apply their make-up while they're driving...some people even read. Often we're not paying full attention to the road even if we aren't doing some other activity; our mind is on work, family, what's on TV tonight.

Every year over 40,000 people die in fatal car accidents in the United States. Forty-thousand people. Young people make up a huge chunk of this death toll; motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for people from 15-20 years old.

I think, perhaps, its time we changed the way we issue driver's licenses, and what you have to do to keep them. What about a point system? You get points on your license for every accident you cause...enough points and you lose the ability to drive - why not? Wouldn't something like that make people a little more aware on the road? Maybe for a while.

Let's tackle the problem even earlier. I think we need more aggressive training for potential drivers and harder tests to get a license. The training also needs to focus more on the dangers of driving and the terrible results of inattention.

Think about this: Police officers are given extensive driver training. Police officers spend most of their job on the road, involved in more dangerous situations more frequently than the rest of us - yet they have fewer accidents. Why? Because they are trained to drive safely, even in perilous situations. Why couldn't a similar driving trainer course be created for the general population? With the appallingly high death toll, one has to wonder, why hasn't it?

The young boy that ran the red light had already been in another accident that year. My sister was involved in a crash a few years ago; the teenage girl whom she was riding with had been in three previous crashes. Our youth need experience, true, but even before experience they need some good, hardcore training!

The responsibility of getting behind the wheel should never be taken lightly. 40,000 deaths says it all.

These statistics taken from Fatality Analysis Reporting System (FARS) Web-Based Encyclopedia. Visit for more information.