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Archive for October, 2003

If The Hair Color Fits

Thursday, October 30th, 2003

They always said, "If you don't have anything nice to say..." I don't know necessarily know who they are, but they were right. (Aren't they always?) My bitchy gripe this morning (first post - scroll down) about the stupid people I work with has come back to bite me in the ass.

Yes, I sit high atop my lofty soapbox and bitch and whine about all the morons of the world - but when the shoe fits, I also have no problem wearing it.

Shanna, why did you miss your gyno appointment this morning? Well, because I went to the wrong building. The complete wrong building - wrong set of doctors; I don't even think these people handle my insurance. Why did I do this? Because some strange thought in my head had me believing that is where I should go. Do you ever do that? Have a thought and not know where it came from, and you just go with it? Don't do that.

But this is no problem, right? Just hop in the car and run on over to the correct building (half way across town). Well, that would be the logical thing to do if I hadn't locked my keys in my car!.

The girl at the front visitor desk was looking at me like I was on drugs. I wish I was - then I'd have an excuse for my momentary lapse of reason and common sense. "What's the doctor's name again?" she asks me. Already I'm knowing in my head that I'm at the wrong place. I said so, then asked if I could use her phone - "I locked my keys in my car." She couldn't have looked at me stranger if I'd of had a third arm growing out of my forehead. At that moment I could hear her thoughts, "This loopy bitch doesn't even know where her doctor's office is, and she's gone and locked her keys in her car. What the hell is she on?" I can just see her relaying the story to her friends tonight over frozen margaritas as they laugh. "Some people are so stupid."

I think I should just go home and dye my hair blonde. If the hair color fits...

Applebee’s Wants to Give You Money

Thursday, October 30th, 2003

I got this email 3x's yesterday - which is amazing. It only took a few hours for the morons I work with to realize it was all bullshit.

My name is Bill Palmer, founder of Applebees. In an attempt to get our name out to more people in the rural communities where we are not currently located, we are offering a $50 gift certificate to anyone who forwards this email to 9 of their friends. Just send this email to them and you will receive an email back with a confirmation number to claim your gift certificate.

Bill Palmer
Founder of Applebees Visit us at: www.applebees.com

Hey guys,
It really works, I tried it and got my Gift certificate confirmation
number in 3 minutes.

You're a lying sack of shit. Because it is absolutely, 100%, without a doubt impossible for a forwarded email to cause anything to happen to your computer.

Let's be logical here - or try and pretend we have an ounce of common sense. How is sending out an email going to make another email appear in your Inbox? Think about it - I know most of you aren't very computer savvy, but this isn't a tough one. Do you believe that this magical email not only knows you've forwarded the email to exactly 9 of your poor friends, but also notifies Applebee's email account with your correct email address and then sends you this amazing certificate?

Too steep for you? Let's dumb it down, then. Forget the computer. Are you dim-witted enough to believe that Applebee's is going to give a $50 GIFT CERTIFICATE to every nine people that send out an email? Do you realize how much money this would cost them? (I'm no math whiz, but we're talking about their shelling out $450 an email!) Do you think they really are using this as some sly marketing program to hook patrons in places they are "not currently located"?? What would be the point? Where is the profit? Have you ever eaten at Applebee's? Do you know how much you'd have to order to use $50? $50 people. Hello???.

Just for shits & giggles, I replied to the co-worker that first sent it to me (she's the one that talks like a 6-year old girl). "Did you get your certificate?" I asked, innocently.

"No," she wrote back. "It's all a big HOAX!"

No shit, sherlock.

There should be some type of law banning email access to idiots that forward moronic things like this. Anyone to second that motion?

Yes, I sound very bitter - but it's aggravating to have your Inbox filled up with nothing but junk and useless crap. This is my work email; I use it for work and to pass the rare and occasional really, funny joke. Some people use it to minister to everyone in the office and to praise their god (you know the ones), some people use it to drive others crazy, and some just obviously like to prove their stupidity. For whatever reason they send me all this bilge, it's aggravating as hell. Can I get an "Amen"?


Wednesday, October 29th, 2003

Let's have some random thoughts. My mind is kinda in that place right now, just random thoughts running through it. My randomness is pretty...well...random.

I'm so ready to go home. Damn this Seether album is good. I want to try brussel sprouts. I just realized I set up the time to go turn the old apartment keys in as the same time I have my doctor's appointment Thursday morning. I think I'm the only person other than my sister who still loves Bush. The band; don't be gross. I'm going to get a beta fish for my new office. It amazes me that I can look at Gilly's picture at my desk and not start crying. I'm wearing white socks today with my little brown shoes and I feel like a dork. I'm tired all the time lately. My friend is going to be a pot brownie for Halloween and I think that's hilarious. I need to throw away that tupperware container that's been on my desk for three months; it used to be grapes, but now I believe it has morphed into some mutant lifeform. If I keep it there long enough will I just have gooey raisins? I want to change the name of my blog from 'anima - a psyche exposed' to either 'bad girl' (from the Madonna song) or that Ashleigh Brilliant quote that I post on all my sites, "Strange as it may seem, this life is based on a true story." Perhaps, though, it would seem a tad too self-important to have an entire quote as a title. I went to the bathroom today and couldn't get my pants untied (damn little leather strings) and I almost peed on myself I had to go so bad. I think I think too much. What if I got rich marketing gooey raisins? Shanna's Ooey-Gooey Raisins has a nice ring to it. I'm still in love with the word 'pithy', but lately I've been cheating on it and using the word 'clusterfuck' much, much more. How can someone not like the word 'clusterfuck'? Sometimes I think of things to say just so I can use 'clusterfuck' in a sentence. Is it weird to love words? It's great to ramble non-sensically. Does it negate the ramble if you acknowledge the rambling? I think I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have found my soulmate. I read a joke today that said, "What do you call an intelligent, good-looking, sensitive man?" The answer was, "A rumor", but I would have to say, "My baby." I keep looking at the clock on my desk and it says 3:47 pm. And each time I get excited for just a second - and then I remember I just haven't set it back yet. But I'm too lazy to do it, so everytime I look over there I have this little shock of disappointment. Why do I torture myself so? My telling of that joke was probably the cheesiest thing I have said in close to three months. Do you know a female dragonfly is called a damselfly? Do you know that I tell people that little tidbit of information every few months or so; even if I've said it to them before? I have no idea why I do this.

Say something random.

Slash Fiction?

Tuesday, October 28th, 2003

What in the hell is slash fiction? I've never heard the term 'til today. I looked up a few things on the Internet - but everything is blocked from work now, so I can't figure it out. Someone help me - one of my blogs came up with that as a "Related Search", and I'm thinking, "Wtf is that?"

Trying to Get Settled

Tuesday, October 28th, 2003

What are the chances of getting behind the same dumb bitch who likes to drive 10 mph under the speed limit on my new morning commute two days in a row? Obviously fairly high. Perhaps you don't like to get to work on time, but I do.

I'm such a bitch. Just slap me now. Why do I have to be such a mental case sometimes? I know, it's just the stress of moving and so many abrupt changes in my life suddenly. But damn.

I came home yesterday and Baret had all the lights in the house on and the TV blaring the news as he did his daily paperwork. Relaxing when I come home is very important to me; generally the drive home gets me in a state of nervous anxiety and I really need to just sit and relax. I couldn't. I hate overhead lighting used exclusively. And being the mental patient that I am, the lighting in a room directly affects my mental state. I couldn't relax in all the glaring lights and with the loud TV. I like candles and I always use lamps - I know it's stupid, but that's how I am. And as T-bone so poignantly pointed out in his yesterday post, a house is not a home. This place isn't home to me yet. My old place was, and I had no trouble relaxing. But I walk into this place, and Baret's doing his end-of-the-day-routine and it just hit home even harder than I no longer have "my life" but "our life". So I went into the bedroom, shut the door, turned on the lamp and lay in bed. I then cried because I missed my old, funky apartment.

Baret came in later, and seeing me all upset, said he'd go and turn off the lights, light some lamps and candles and make it all cozy. Cozy - cozy is good. I don't envy him having to put up with my emotional self; he really doesn't understand, but he tries sometimes to make it better. He then came back and announced that he was taking me out for sushi. We haven't done that in over a year, and we forgot how much you get when you order - so we ended up with ten times more sushi than we could eat. I called all my friends to come and help finish it off, but no one was home.

We came home, planning to light a fire and drink a bottle of wine he'd bought a few days earlier. But nothing is working out right lately. He couldn't get the fire started for a good while, I fell asleep (the clock may say 9pm, but my body still knows it's 10pm and that's my bedtime), and the wine was bad when we opened it (mildew all over the cork). Less than 10 minutes of sitting in front of the fire, we'd both passed out. So much for that first-fire-in-the-new-place, bottle-of-good-wine, really-good-first-time-sex-in-the-new-place that was all supposed to happen.

Ah, but such is life. I'm sure when the chaos of moving finally calms, when we start to get more settled, everything will be okay. It's caused quite a rift between us - and that's a scary feeling when you've just signed a year lease with someone in a place neither of you could afford alone. It's just me being my usual psychotic, sex-fiend Scorpion self causing all this; I know it.

Oh, and today is Paul's birthday. Go over and wish him a happy one. I know he likes to get mentioned, so that's my present to him. Paul and I see eye to eye on quite a few things, and this fellow Scorp has one of my favorite blogs. Check him out.

To the rest, have a great day.

Get a Move On

Monday, October 27th, 2003

Hands down, folks, I have the greatest family in the world. Not only are they super-cool simply because they're so wacky and fun - but when it comes down to it and I need them, they are there for me more than I think I even deserve. Seriously, as my bud Shannan would say, they rawck.

We were moving Friday night - and as of Friday morning, we had not packed a thing. There honestly had been no time, with everything else we had to get done. We got the keys to the place Thursday night, and left them at the old apartment. My Mom and sister, Amber, came over mid-day Friday and started packing. They packed up my entire apartment - even labeling all the boxes - and had brought over half of my existence to the new place by time I got home at 4:45pm. Wow. My brother-in-law hauled over a good bit of the big furniture by himself before we got home as well. My brother, Johnnie, arrived just after we did and my Dad was just an hour behind. We got almost everything moved Friday night.

I woke up early Saturday and started unpacking the kitchen - not an easy feat when you're on crutches. My little brother showed back up and he and Baret got the rest of the old stuff moved over. So, the kitchen is done, the computer room is mostly done, the living room is half-ass done and the bedroom is livable. The guest bedroom came out really cute, too.

It is amazing how much my life has changed in the past two weeks. I'm pretty overwhelmed. We've been so busy I haven't really had time to take it all in yet and I'm afraid once things slow down and it all hits me, I'm going to flip out. It's just what I do. Though never officially diagnosed (unless you count the free clinic that just threw me on anti-depressants), I have my mental problems. I've battled depression since I was a teen, and my usual state is akin to an emotional roller coaster. I'm also a recovering self-injurer, and am pretty sure I'm either bipolar or just plain clinically depressed. So, I'm a little afraid of what I'm going to do when it starts to sink in that my life is not even slightly comparable to what it was just three weeks ago. Hopefully I won't freak out - but I'm a little worried. I haven't let myself grieve for Gilly yet - and it was very hard for me to leave my old place as I worked hard to get it. It was mine, and mine alone that no one helped me get. Now everything is "ours" and we're suddenly a two-cat family.

But, until then, I'm trying not to worry about it. I love my place!! I know I promised pictures, but I wanted to get things more set up before I showed it to you guys. Tonight is the first real cold snap since we've moved in (all of two days ago), so there will be a bottle of good wine being opened tonight in front of our new fireplace! Woot! I hope today flies by...

Our cable gets set up this evening, too, so I'll be able to rejoin the online world.

But this is My Life - and nothing is without it's drawbacks. At first, the only thing we found wrong in the new place (isn't there always something wrong in a new place?) was an outlet didn't work. It was the outlet next to my computer desk, so that bit. It turned out to be the least of our problems. Baret drew me a bath late Saturday night. I'd crashed so he left it sitting for a bit, and went downstairs. He heard this strange dripping noise and realized it was coming from inside the walls - directly under where the tub sits. He went and let the water out, came downstairs, and said it sounded as if someone was pouring a gallon bucket of water down the inside walls - water seeped out onto the floor and the new carpet. Not good.

So, the new house is amazing - we just can't bathe there yet. The landlord is going by today to have a look at it.

I'm very excited right now. My drive to work was nearly traffic-free, as my Dad pointed out a back roads way to get there. I get to work in exactly 10 minutes; not too shabby. We made it home Friday evening without much hassle - even though we'd been warned that traffic down the main highway we live near was horrendous. We lucky state workers get off at 4:30 - and we get home just before the traffic gets congested. That was the only thing I was really worried about.

Well, enough of this long ramble about moving in. I'm still a bit overwhelmed. I wake up in the mornings and think, "Do I live here? Wow." It's just so much nicer than where we were before. Hope this Monday flies for everyone!

Man Wins $1K Forwarding Junk Email!

Friday, October 24th, 2003

I don't know who in the hell Dennis or his son, Sean, are, but if they truly exist and I meet them, I'm going to beat the crap out of them.

I've gotten this email before. And every single time it appears in my box I let out a groan - because I know every fucking jackass and idiot out there is going to forward it to me in the next two days. True to form, as of yesterday, this stupid email has flooded my Inbox 20+ x's.

This is almost understandable, as we've already ascertained that half the people I work with are complete morons. But, please, for the love of all that is good and pure - do you honestly believe forwarding a stupid email is going to bring you luck or fortune?!.

Have you ever seen a newspaper headline, "Man Gets Rich After Forwarding Luck Email to 1,256 People". No. These emails are created by jackasses who want to see how many dumbfucks they can get to keep their dumb email alive and going. Trust me. There is no Dennis, and there is no Sean and there is no way on this green Earth that aggravating everyone you know by forwarding them crap like this is going to make you rich or lucky. It might lose you a few friends and a lot of respect, but that's about it.

These things are self-perpetuating; sort of like a virus or a cancer. They grow and grow until they are out of control. Since the email instructs you to ask other morons to send it back to you, then you are put in the position of having to send it out again. And when it comes back the next time? Well, since you obviously believe this tripe, you have to send it again so you won't have a whole year of bad luck! Heaven forbid. It's a never-ending cycle of clueless, desperate people driving the sane half of the world nuts.

As if we don't get enough spam and junk email in our Inboxes, now we have to worry about people we know spamming us with junk like this. Please, if you get an email likethis or any of the other junk promising love, happiness, riches and God's love - delete them. End the cycle of spam - give it the death it rightly deserves.

Ah, it feels good to bitch and gripe again. Looks like I'm getting back to my old self. -sigh- This is something I've had to fuss about before. See The Chain Letter Curse and The Chain Letter Curse Revisited. Please stop the insanity - my Inbox can only take so much more.

Have a great weekend everyone! Monday I'll have pics of the new place! 🙂