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Archive for February, 2004

Paging Mr. Fluck

Friday, February 27th, 2004

Now, I could care less about baseball, but I found myself, stuck in a rut of idle surfing, reading this article about the blowing up of some unlucky Cubs baseball.

As I was skimming the article, this one sentence stood out:>

"I'm somewhat disappointed, it was a little anticlimactic for us," Adam Fluck said.

Excuse me...what was that Mr...Fluck?? His last name is Fluck. Omg - can you imagine the berating this man got as a kid in school? Even adults must either giggle or blush when calling out his name. Really - say it aloud. If I were stuck with a surname like that I'd have to do something midly creative with it - start a website called "Fuck Fluck" or something. Fluck. I might just have to use that in a story.

Another idle surf brought up the more interesting article about Michael Jackson-like priests. It says that 4,392 priests have been accused of sexual abuse. That's no small number. The first sentence was the most interesting:

Two church-sanctioned studies documenting sex abuse by U.S. Roman Catholic clergy say that about 4 percent of clerics have been accused of molesting minors since 1950 and blame bishops' "moral laxity" in disciplining offenders for letting the problem worsen.

I, for one, would just like to say that the problem is more the sex-is-a-sin-and-evil mindset that forces the clergy to be celibate that is more to blame than "moral laxity".

You see, when you have a religion that says sex is evil, and the even greater evil is to be gay and have sex, you have a lot of wanting-to-do-right-by-their-souls individuals that go into the priesthood to escape the calls of their sexual urges. What better way to fend off such devilish activities than to enter into a world of forced celibacy? So then we have human beings with natural sexual urges who, regardless of how devout they may be, need a release.

Now I'm not saying this gives them an excuse, or that their repression gives them a right to fuck with little boys. Not by any means. But perhaps the Catholic church needs to re-evaluate their viewpoints, and the lifestyle they impose on their clergy. Could this not be, quite possibly, the root of this mass sexual perversion?

In other news, I'm a happy Ebayer again. After the mess with the my-mother-sent-it-you-threatening-ebayer woman, it felt good to have an amicable, smooth transaction. I'm now the proud owner of my very own Buddy Christ. That's right, he's happy, he's scrappy, he's the son of God. And he's currently sitting atop my desk eyeing the hot High Elf figurine I got from one of the Everquest expansion packs. They made such a cute couple, I had to post them on my fotolog. This is what happens when you have a) a digital camera b) too much time on your hands and c) a few too many Michelob Ultras.

Tonight is the Rosedale Methodist's Church Annual Fish Fry - not a day late for the first Friday of Lent so that we can hit up all those non-meat-eating Catholics. Marketing is everywhere in Christianity! I'm sure you're wondering why I'm attending, and supporting, a fish fry for a Christian church when I'm, well, not. You see, this is the church of my childhood. I was baptized and confirmed here - as a young 'un I even sang in the choir. It's a very small church - super emphasis on the "very". The people here are older folks that I grew up around (a few my actual next door neighbors). Even though I no longer consider myself a worshipper of those tenements, I have a soft spot for that small, ever-struggling little church. Even though my memories of being a young Christian are not the best, my memories of that particular place are actually quite good. So I support the church - or rather, the people in it - than anything having to do with the religion. I try to go and, at least, buy a dinner or two - sometimes I actually sell tickets or go lend a hand. You don't have to believe in something to support it - in fact, it's an even better reason to do so. Love thine enemies and all that - Buddy Christ was right about that part.

At the last, I have to comment on the woman who died watching Mel Gibson's "Passion of The Christ". I mean, wow. I've heard the film is gory and excessively explicit. I kind of wondered what effect that would have on the really hardcore Jesus freaks. I'm sure your everyday Christian will simply be saddened, and deeply affected by it. But the Jesus Freaks - that's going to mortify them to the core. Obviously.

I'm really interested to see it. I know most people think I'll bash it, but I have a soft spot for 'ole Mel, so I truly intend to give it a fair viewing and open mind; just as I do for everything.

Speaking of Lent, I don't understand it at all. It really kind of weirded me out to see people coming into work Wednesday with faded, ashey crosses emblazoned on their foreheads talking about what they had to "give up" for Lent.

"So it's kind of like New Year's?" I asked someone - and only got a strange frown for an answer.

I've asked people about it before - the sacrifice of "giving up" something for a certain period of time, the cross of ashes on the forehead and the no-meat on Fridays. What in the hell does all that mean or stand for when grouped together? I've never got a clear-cut answer. I do know that Mardi Gras originated as the last big party before the seriousness of the Lent season. But my Lent-knowledge ends there. Frankly, the entire deal sounds rather Pagan-ish to me.

With that, I hope everyone has a splendid weekend!

Ignoring What’s Important

Thursday, February 26th, 2004

Not much time, just a quick Thursday thought.

According to this article the Bush administration's plan to clean up mercury pollution is too lax. A scary statistic states that, in 2000, 630,000 U.S. newborns had "unsafe" levels of mercury in their blood. Mercury, in case you didn't know, causes brain damage.

So why is it that Bush is pussy-footing around things that are vital and, obviously, very important, yet putting all of his concentration and power on things that are actually nobody's business but the people involved? That's right - gay marriages. If Bush would spend half as much time and effort on real issues as he does trying to shove his religious beliefs down everyone's throat, you might actually see some progress.

Just my two coppers.

No Beads for Me

Wednesday, February 25th, 2004

So how did I celebrate Mardi Gras? I went to the movies and finally saw "Return of the King". Baret and I then went to a little mexican restaurant next door to the theatre, had two tacos, two beers, went home and passed out. It was a good day.

Today it's back to the grind. It will be strange going into work after so many days off. I start getting the new website ready today, so I'll most likely be working late. It's a huge task, and I'm still trying to come up with the best way to do it.

Not much else has been going on. I was hungover all weekend, as you know. I got screwed on Ebay - it was bound to happen eventually. I really tried to work with the person, but they were kinda nutty - taking everything personally and failing to realize this is a business transaction. Such as:

Me: I'm going to report you if you don't give me proof that you shipped my item.
Them: You're threatening me and calling me dishonest - my mother thinks so, too.

Not exactly like that, but it rounds it up nicely. Yes, she included her mother in just about every email - it was creepy. I tried to be nice and I tried to work with them, but, in the end, I had to leave negative feedback and report them. I ordered the item on Dec. 27 - you can't say I didn't give them time! Dishonesty, and especially just downright being a negative person, irks me so. The entire deal has had me so stressed out. If it were me, and an item I sent someone was supposedly "lost in the mail" - I would do everything I could to rectify it. If I couldn't, I would give them their money back - I sure as hell don't deserve that money, and it's not owed to me if I gave nothing in return. But maybe that's just me. I'll probably be posting about it more because, as I said, it's had me stressed. I hate dealing with conflict, really hate it. I just want everyone to get along.

I found a hilarious quote the other day, which really nailed it home for me on the whole violence in music, TV, games, etc. thing. Jon Stewart said:

"The song 'Cop Killer' doesn't make me want to murder a policeman anymore than Julie Andrews singing 'Climb Ev'ry Mountain' makes me want to go hiking."


I also added this Mark Twain gem to my collection:

"When you find yourself in the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."

I think I may begin starting off each post with a quote from my voluminous collection. I love sharing them.

Well, it's off to work. Pseudo-Monday for me - won't I be pleasantly surprised when Friday rolls around!

A Little Too Much Celebration

Sunday, February 22nd, 2004

Just thought you would like to know that I gave my presentation for the website - and he *loved* it! It goes up next week. I'm so damn excited.

So damn excited, in fact, that Baret suggested we go out Friday evening after work to celebrate. And did we celebrate. I don't know how many Cosmos we drank, but the bill was over $67 and we only ordered one $6 appetizer. We vaguely remember getting home.

I spent all of Saturday and Saturday night in bed. In fact, I never left my bed yesterday. I was hung-over for OVER 24 hours. I don't ever want to celebrate again. Let me tell ya, I'm getting old. I can't do shit like that anymore. Finally, last nite around 10pm I started to feel half-way decent (i.e. not like I was about to throw-up and then die). I was finally able to hold down a little food and I passed out exhausted and with a backache (lying in bed all day can do that to ya). It was not at all fun. Celebrating is wrong! Don't do it, I beg of you!

I'm not feeling my best this morning either, but at least I can sit up without needing to hurl. I think that's improvement, yes?

Anyway, I'm off to eat my first full meal in two days and settle in for our usual Everquest-Sunday. Hope you all have a great one - and Happy Lundi Gras a day early!

I Won the Lotto

Friday, February 20th, 2004

*See added note at bottom of this post to see the mystery solved (Addendum 23 Feb 2004)

Need your input. I got this email the other day entitled "CONGRATULATIONS 2004 CHELSEA LOTTO WINNER". It read:

Chelsea Lottery Headquarters
11 Sydney Street,
London SW3 6NT

Ref: CHEL/941OYI/02
Date: 04-17-02

We happily announce to you the draw of the Annual International Lottery Program, held on the 31st of January 2004 in London, UK. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number:3266534 with Serial number 2004/234/72 was drawn as the lucky ticket numbers which subsequently won you the lottery in the International Internet category.

You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of Euros1,000,000.00 (One Million Euros ) credited to file Chel/int/5536622.This is from a total cash prize of Euros10,000,000.00 (Ten Million Euros , shared amongst the first ten (10) lucky winners in this category.

Please note that your winning number falls within our representative office in London as indicated in your play coupon. In view of this, your Euros1,000,000.00 (One Million Euros) would be released to you by our security firm in The UK. Our agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him.

All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000 companies. This promotion takes place annually.

For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claim has been processed and your winning remitted to you.

Please note that there are several methods of remittance of your winnings which would be communicated to you by our agent. This is a precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and to ensure ease of collection of winnings by winners.

To file for your claim, please contact our agent:
Mr R. Steven

To avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please quote your reference
number in any correspondences with us or our designated agent. Congratulations and thank you for being part of our promotional lottery program.

Thank you,

Yours Truly
Mrs Sandra Peacook.

Powered by telstra.com

So I think nothing of it - just another big scam. But I'm intrigued, because I've never heard of this one. So I emailed Mr. Stevens and he responded right back saying it was, indeed, a lottery and I was a winner (sure I am) and that they needed only my name, address, phone number so that they could snail-mail me a confirmation certificate.

I searched the 'net for any Chelsea Lottery scam, but came up with nothing. I found it odd that they only wanted basic info - stuff anyone can get on anyone off of the Internet - no account passwords or numbers or info of any kind. I still didn't think it was legit, but now I wanted to get to the bottom of it. What was going on here.

My Mom & Baret suggested I just send them the basic info and see what they did. I'm not so sure. I visited the Telstra website, from which the email originated, and it is from an Australian ISP. Nothing on there about a Lottery, either. I thought about shooting them an email, since it came from one of their customers but I doubt they could prove it or deny it. Though they may ban the person for sending unsolicited spam...

So my question to you is, what do I do next? If it's some new scam, I'd like to crack it and warn others about it. My last thought is that it is legit - I never entered any kind of contest and why would a company in London want to give some chick from Louisiana, USA, money? No, I don't for a minute hold that it's real. The thing I find odd is that they answered me back - spam is usually generated from some bot, not a specific person. It'd be sweet to crack some wanna-be spamster.

Your thoughts?

* A thousand thanks to Maury (and Rose) for sending me this link - http://www.spam-site.com/spam-email.shtml. He says if you scroll down to the bottom it comments on this email.

I saw quite a few people coming here searching for it and I realize they probably wanted answers as did I. Here it is folks - a scam just like you thought it was.

You know that guy is STILL emailing me??

Have a GREAT weekend & a fuckin' SUPER MARDI GRAS everyone. I know most of you don't celebrate it, so think of me with King Cake-green envy on Monday & Tuesday when you're sitting at your desks at work and I'm sitting on a street somewhere screaming for beads and getting sloshed. Hey, that's what Mardi Gras' about - don't let anyone tell you different. So, Happy Lundi & Mardi Gras!

I Bitch, Therefore I Am

Monday, February 16th, 2004

This weekend I was playing a half-ass game of Taboo with my sister. The word was "Daydream" and I was trying to come up with ways to have her guess it without saying the "taboo" words.

"I do this a lot," I told her. As I opened my mouth to say another sentence, unsure if she even knew of my penchant for constant daydreaming, she says, "Bitch?"

"What?!" I asked, a bit taken aback.

She was laughing as she tried to explain her meaning, "Well, on your blogger, you know - you bitch a lot about what pisses you off..."

She's right, you know. I do bitch a lot on here. But wouldn't it be boring if I didn't? Since I've never had someone point it out to me quite like that before, I suppose I saw it otherwise. But to me, what good is a voice and a vehicle to display it (the Internet in this instance) if you don't use it? If there's something I don't like, I'm going to tell the world about it. No one may care what I have to say, but at least I've said it. I never was one for biting my tongue, though - I'm of the mindset that, in most instances, you shouldn't. But, still, good guess, Amb.

Also this weekend, I was reminded of a funny story I thought I'd share to fill up some space on this Monday post.

A few years ago, my best friend, Brandon, and I had gone to eat at a small Chinese buffet restaurant here in Baton Rouge one Saturday. It was lunchtime, and being the drinker that I am, I decided to have a cold one with my lo mein. Used to being carded because of my stature, I handed my driver's license over to the young Oriental waitress as I requested a Coors Light. She appeared then to be very confused. She took it from me, then glanced from the license in her hand and back to me with a puzzled look. Finally, with a friendly smile, she said, "Oh...., okay - you very pretty" and handed it back to me. She then walked off. I gave Brand a questioning look and he said, "I don't think she had any idea why you handed that to her."

She didn't. This woman thought I just handed her my license to show her my picture! I joked that I was going to come back in the next week and hand her a signed 8x10 headshot of myself. It's not surprising that the place is no longer in business.

Also, this article seems to point in the direction of "your supposed reasons for going to war (the "war on terrorism") seem to have BACKFIRED, Dubya". Iraq is likely now, because of the American invasion, a hotbed of terrorist activity. Way to go U.S.A. - we have one helluva administration, don't we?

With that, the bitch is out for now.

Yummy, Yummy Bedbugs

Friday, February 13th, 2004

Who wrote this article? They make bedbugs sound like some sort of yummy snack food rather than an aggravating little creepy-crawly that gnaws on you while you slumber. "Bedbugs are tiny bloodsucking insects that smell like soda pop syrup and are shaped like apple seeds." Smell like soda pop syrup? I'd like to meet the person that found that one out.

"Honey, check this out - there are all kinds of little bugs in our bed."

"What are they?!"

"I don't know," she says as she bends down and sniffs one, "but they smell like soda pop syrup."

But seriously, we live in a fucked up world. We live in a world where your company tells you to delete emailed Valentine's Day e-cards because they could be potential viruses, where you get arrested for selling sex toys to married couples, where hundreds of women today are celebrating Valentine's day alone because their husband or boyfriend died in a war that was based on lies, where people believe that it is okay to disallow anyone a freedom in this country because their "God" doesn't like it - if everyone is supposed to have the same freedoms here, then why can't gay people be married? We live in a world where the "Good Samaritan" is dead - stopping to help someone in need in this day could cost you your life. It isn't safe to go somewhere without locking your car doors, and it isn't even safe to be in your home without the doors locked - even in broad daylight. We live in a world where men grab little girls right off the street a few blocks from their home, and before the sun has even set. In our world, there are metal detectors in schools and National Terror Alert charts on TV. There was a war over nothing and a man who caused the deaths of thousands one particular day in September seemingly forgotten and running free. The world we live in is a scary place.

But, it sure is an interesting place as well. What can you say about a world where Barbie & Ken break up after 43 years? Scary, I tell you.

Anyway, just a random rant - hope everyone has a good Valentine's Day weekend!