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Archive for December, 2004

Happy New Year!

Friday, December 31st, 2004

Spinach Ball or Alien Turd? You Decide.

Wednesday, December 29th, 2004

As promised in today's previous post, I now reveal to you a Spinach Ball. Let me preface this photo by saying this is not one of those foods which looks horrible yet tastes delicious. This bad boy tastes every bit as nasty as it looks (you have been warned).

Alien turd Spinach Ball anyone?

Xmas with the Blanks

Wednesday, December 29th, 2004

Christmas was great - and long. We spent the Eve of it with The Worm's dad, sister and her family. Xmas day we spent a true "Cajun Xmas" with The Worm's Mom and her side of the family. Along with Cajun Xmas music playing in the background on a local radio station, his grandfather and great uncle talking in French (Cajun French, mind you - there is a difference), wild duck on the table, and his uncles T'Ken, T'Jun and Chookie calling to wish the family a merry one, it was about as coonass as you can get, cher. I loved it. The true Cajun side of my family has died off, so we don't get to experience that anymore; but it brings me back to the days when we were still able to share holidays with them.

That same evening we drove to my family's and spent Xmas Night with them. I got a ton of books (as always), a documentary video on Mary Magdalen, a new sweater, a white shawl, and something that sprays henna tats on you using a stencil and an air gun of sorts loaded with ink. We also got the crock pot we'd asked for; so that was gravy.

But perhaps the most special gift of all was a heavy one given to me by my grandfather. He watched anxiously as I read the card, which went something like "You're so much like her I know she'd want you to have these. The dents in the mirror are from my head. Don't pawn it." That's summarizing it, it was much sweeter and funnier - you've got to know my Pa-Pa  (this is the man that likes to give large amounts of money in quarters and $1 bills). Inside was my grandmother's sterling sliver vanity set - the comb, brush and hand-held mirror - that my grandfather had given her as a gift some 50 years before when they were dating. He had polished them to a beautiful shine (something I was told he'd been working on all week). He cried and I cried and gave him a big hug. It was so very sweet. Of course he had to be all Pa-Pa about it as soon as I'd hugged him. Emotion is hard for him (that stout German blood) so he covers it up with humor. He told The Worm, "She's just so much like her," he paused to wipe his eyes and then continued, "She's mean and jealous..." Thanks Pa, I know what you mean and I love you, too.

The food - oh, the food we ate! My usual diet consists of Easy Mac and/or Papa John's pizza so to have good, hot home-cooked meals three days in a row - well, let's just say my digestive system is still having trouble re-adjusting. The first night it was gumbo, candied sweet potatoes, and bread - the next day it was duck, turducken, peas, homemade macaroni and cheese, and buns - that night it was (again)turducken, pork roast (is this a Southern thing - to have two meats? Sometimes we have three...), mirliton dressing, rice dressing, green beans, baked spaghetti (a family classic), and the infamous booty bread (there was more but I can't remember all of it - my grandfather seems to think he is cooking for a small army rather than a small family). Good eating, a few extra pounds, isn't that what the holidays are all about?

Perhaps the craziest thing of all was that it snowed in some parts of Louisiana. Snow in Louisiana on Christmas Day - hasn't happened in about 50 years. We never got to see any come down, but there were patches on The Worm's Mom's roof and lawn. The Worm's T'Ken said it was "really coming down" in New Orleans; I'd love to have a picture of it snowing in the French Quarter! However, the snow in Louisiana was really only a way of welcoming my brother's girlfriend into the Blank's Law/Luck that she is now entitled to simply by being his girlfriend. They spent the holiday in Idaho with her family and my brother was excited about having his first white Xmas. It didn't snow in Idaho - not a drop; we here in the South had more of a white Xmas than he. And that is a prime example of Blank's Law (and Luck), which I've mentioned here before. It is my birthright - what 'cha gonna do?

I hope that everyone had as jolly & merry a holiday with their families and friends as we did.

(Next post I'll have a picture of Spinach Balls - a new side dish brought by a family member - ever wondered what an alien turd would look like {hint: as nasty as it tastes}? Your curiosity will soon be sated...)

For Those Lives Lost

Tuesday, December 28th, 2004

This morning, though I knew the number would grow, I was still shocked to see the death toll for those killed by the earthquake and resulting tsunamis had risen to over 40,000.

I made this - feel free to take it & put it on your webpage/blog/etc. Just a little something in honor of so many that have lost their lives.

In Remembrance
(Please right-click & "Save As"...no direct linking, please).

Rob Brezsny Christmas

Thursday, December 23rd, 2004

I had wished for a cold Christmas. It just doesn't seem like Christmas when you're wearing shorts and sweating. Then I walked outside this morning and thought, "Omfg, I'm a friggin' idiot." It's cold - it's fucking freezing. How cold & miserable is it? There's a 10% chance it may snow on Christmas Day...in Louisiana. The mere thought of this has sent most citizens into a flurry of excitement. It would be cool, but I'm really not into this cold stuff. You Yankees can have your 1-digit and below temperatures, your snow plows and wool longjohns. Not for me, no, thank you.

My sister emailed me and said I needed to stop being a Grinch and to remember the true meaning of Xmas = fun along with alcohol and crazy families. She's right. There are worse things I could be doing than enjoying the holiday with my family - like being at work for one. Getting off of work is reason enough to celebrate!

In his weekly horoscope mailing, Rob Brezsny had written a beautiful little blurb on the man who's non-birthday we're soon to be celebrating. I couldn't agree more with what he wrote, and I'd like to share it with you here:

Fundamentalist Christians send me hate mail. Religious zealots have banned my last book. Along with meditation, yoga, and sex for fun, the powers-that-be at the Vatican has declared astrology to be dangerous to your spiritual health.

All of these people would no doubt be shocked if they learned that Jesus Christ is one of the Main High Dudes in my pantheon of gods. They seem to believe that people like me -- goddess-worshiping tantric sufi Qabalist Buddhist pagans who hang around with zen trickster witches and espouse a socialist libertarian political philosophy -- couldn't possibly have an intimate relationship with the cosmic hero they claim to own. They must think they have commandeered the trademark to one of the sweetest avatars in history!

But I do have an intimate relationship with Jesus. How could I not? He was a champion of women's rights, a threat to the established political order, and a radical spiritual activist who worked outside religious institutions. The dude owned nothing and was a passionate advocate for the poor and underprivileged. He was uncompromisingly opposed to violence and war. Besides that, he was a master of love and he devoted his life to serving the Divine Intelligence. I want to be like him when I grow up!

"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle," he allegedly said, "than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven." That's a pretty clear statement of his position towards plutocratic accumulators of property and wealth.

"Love your enemies," he said, "do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." How any militarist promoting global arms sales and pre-emptive war could claim an affinity with Jesus is incomprehensible.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

So I feel better about the whole thing - even if it isn't "really" his birthday, I jive with the man so it's all good. And besides there's much good food, alcohol & crazy family moments to look forward to; how can you not enjoy that?

Through a Migraine Haze

Monday, December 20th, 2004

Looking for something for your favorite neutered pet this Xmas? Look no further. Nothing says "I love you, Scruffy" like a shiny, new set of testicular implants.


There was more to this post, but it was pointless and made little sense because it was written through the haze of a fucking migraine. Not just any migraine, mind you, but a fucking migraine; the kind that makes you want to throw-up, makes your jaws ache from the intensity of the throbbing and makes even the little clicking noise of the keys on your keyboard as you type this WANT TO STAB SOMEONE IN THE EYE WITH A NEARBY PENCIL!!!!

The lights are off in my office - the door is shut. I'm shaking like a crackwhore from the BC Powder and Coca-Cola (it would've looked really wrong if I'd just written "Coke" in that sentence) I've imbibed, and if I could close my eyes really tight, click my heels and say "there's no place like home" 3x's and magically end up at home and in bed (in the dark), that'd be so very swell. Did I just use the word "swell"? For fuck's sake, I am sick.

I cannot think straight - I can barely type (you wouldn't believe how many times I've had to use the backspace key already - try every other fucking word). I want to go home, and I can't. I don't know why I'm staying, since I'm really no good for doing anything (did I mention I can't think straight?)...argh, this post is going the way of pointless-drivel and nonsensical-ramble again, isn't it?

Blame it on the fucking migraine.

Jesus Loves the Little Footprints

Saturday, December 18th, 2004

I always thought these were a hoot (I even created a site to mock them), but THIS, while not as harmful, is still...a bit much.

Jesus Loves You...

and your footprints.