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Archive for March, 2006

Eating Is So 2005

Friday, March 31st, 2006

So probably the greatest side effect of my meds so far has been my loss of appetite. No, seriously. I usually ate much more than I should and I've been struggling with a few extra pounds for years now. This is a good thing.

I think.

Yesterday I ate an omelet for breakfast - which made me sick. For lunch I drank a small can of tomato juice. I ate some vienna sausage when I got home around 4pm, and I drank a glass of tomato juice for supper.

I'd better watch it. I don't mind losing a few pounds, I sure don't want to become sickly twigs like Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Ritchie.

I'd like to leave you with a story told to me my best friend, Nodnarb, last night. As you read this you, like I, will wonder if a high school diploma - or any schooling at all - is a requirement for employment at this grocery store.
A co-worker of his went by a local Albertsons on her lunch break yesterday to do some quick shopping. She went to the deli and asked for "three quarters of a pound" of ham.

The deli worker cut her...wait for it...three slices. Of ham.

"No," our protagonist tells the dimwit. "I want three quarters of a pound."

The dimwit looks at her, looks at the scale for a moment, then looks back at her and says...wait for it..."What numbers are those?"

After that debacle, perhaps our shopper was feeling lucky, so she then asked for "half a pound of cheese."

Our Deli Person of the Year then asked her, "Are those the same numbers?"

Absolutely true story. So if you ever find yourself doing something kind of dumb or absent-minded and you think, "Damn, I'm stupid"; remember what stupid really is and realize that no, you aren't.

The Attack of Lewis

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

Anyone who has - and loves - cats can appreciate this piece I found on Yahoo! News this morning about a crazy cat named Lewis who is unleashing his claws on a small community (and the Avon lady):

Residents of the neighborhood of Sunset Circle say they have been terrorized by a crazy cat named Lewis. Lewis for his part has been uniquely cited, personally issued a restraining order by the town's animal control officer.

"He looks like Felix the Cat and has six toes on each foot, each with a long claw," Janet Kettman, a neighbor said Monday. "They are formidable weapons."

The neighbors said those weapons, along with catlike stealth, have allowed Lewis to attack at least a half dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car.

Some of those who were bitten and scratched ended up seeking treatment at area hospitals.

Animal Control Officer Rachel Solveira placed a restraining order on him. It was the first time such an action was taken against a cat in Fairfield.

In effect, Lewis is under house arrest, forbidden to leave his home.

Solveira also arrested the cat's owner, Ruth Cisero, charging her with failing to comply with the restraining order and reckless endangerment.

___

Information from: Connecticut Post, http://www.connpost.com

I've had some crazy cats in my day, but Lewis takes the cake. Perhaps he was an attack dog in a previous life?

Things Aren’t Always As Big As They Seem

Tuesday, March 28th, 2006

Last night I dreamt I was in a strange library.  On a huge shelf, way above everything was this enormous book.  It must've been two stories high and as wide across as the front of a house.  The title, which I could barely read, said something about the history of giants, which changed when I looked at it again to the history of miniature, toy soldiers.

Someone decided to get a long stick and poke at the massive book until it fell down, so we could look at it - though it was going to take a few of us just to open the cover.

He started poking and the book began to fall, but as it fell and turned we realized it was only a page, and as it settled to the ground it rolled itself neatly up into tube-rolled poster.  The entire thing had been an optical illusion, drawn to look like a massive book with millions of pages - when, in fact, it had only been a large sheet of paper; like the art of Julian Beever.

Anyone else get the feeling that my dream is trying to tell me not to make mountains out of molehills - that maybe what seems huge and overwhelming is actually quite small and manageable if only I change my perspective?

Weekly Anamnesis: Congratulations

Sunday, March 26th, 2006

Congratulations is the theme for Weekly Anamnesis, Week #14:

It was a quiet Sunday and we were relaxing at home when the phone rang. It was my little brother, J.D. I could tell immediately from his voice that something was amiss.

"Hey, Shan, so...um. What 'cha doing?"

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

He laughed nervously. "What makes you think something's wrong?"

"I know you, J.D. What's going on?"

By now, I'm nervous. It would have to be a pretty big issue for my brother - of all people - to call me up to talk; he's not one for sharing what's on his mind.

But nothing could've prepared me for his next words: "How do you feel about being an aunt?"

My mind couldn't grasp what he'd just said, and I honestly thought - at first and in my shock - that he was telling me their cat was pregnant with kittens. But as he continued to talk, in rapid-fire speech, what my mind had been trying to deny was slowly sinking in: his girlfriend was pregnant.

There was this scared and pleading sound in my little brother's voice; he was terrified. I was his oldest sister, and he respected my opinion; it was obvious that he needed my reassurance and acceptance.

A million things ran through my head: But you hate kids! You're both still in college! You're both too young! You both only work part-time! You're terrible with responsibility! You've never had a full-time job in your life, how can you support a family?! What about all of your hopes and dreams of traveling and teaching in Germany?! I know you don't want this and aren't ready for this!! All of your plans...your whole life is forever changed now!

But in the end, all I said was, "Congratulations."

Spam Babble

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

Remember when I posted the text of a spam email, wondering if it were some secret code?  If you read them, they really are quite fascinating.  I mean, don't you want to know what a "mung manhole" is?

Here's another, for your reading pleasure:

isocline on stalwart or anne in abysmal , perchance may melamine in anderson and mung it manhole , pancreatic not deactivate may stroke it henpeck it's fairport not consultation but il try baby ! caw it bootlegging try mutandis it's ostrander it goldman on cashier the bijection it's joyce the punch be falmouth try heartbeat a rumpus some oil some alliterate some forthwith see cure on equitable or Keine email hier! acclimate see orangeroot ,a dissident the keller in or amort on doris may some coiffure or sima in

This Is Your Brain, This Is Your Brain on Drugs

Friday, March 24th, 2006

So last night I took the first doses of my new meds:  10mg Lexapro and 50mg Strattera.  I didn't sleep a damn wink.

But I'm not worried - all are common side effects that most people experience with these drugs the first month - and most likely will go away.  Which is good, because dry mouth, night sweats, insomnia and constipation aren't exactly my idea of a fun time.

Though, yes, it does beat the alternative.  Of course, it's too soon to notice a change; these meds take a few weeks of dosing before you see results.  All I know is that today I feel a little light-headed, but in a really good euphoric-type of way (I read that's the Strattera).

Tomorrow is RoseRed and J.D.'s baby shower.  Well, it's sort of a shower.  My familly doesn't really believe in straight showers, so it's really a huge familiy & friend get together, bring a gift if you want to type of thing.  We were going to do boiled crawfish, but it's too expensive (thanks Katrina, you bitch) so it'll have to be some of Pa-Pa's yummy jambalaya; not a bad alternative at all.  I'm sure - as I always do when I come back from a family get-together - I'll have wild tales to share.

For now, thanks for the kind thoughts; my body seems to be agreeing with the meds so far!

Officially Crazy

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006

I had the doctor's appointment today. Diagnosis?

Generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder and combined A.D.H.D. Pretty positive about the first two (but, really, who doesn't have generalized anxiety in today's fast-paced society?!) and fairly positive about the last, but I am going to go in and get some tests done to be 100% sure.

Oddly, I'm very happy!

I start on my Lexapro and Strattera this evening. Thanks for all the kind thoughts!

Everyone needs joy today! So for a laugh, I urge you to hop on over to my Star Suck site and check out the post about the pro-life Britney-Spears-giving-birth statue: Britney Spears Immortalized with Weird Statue. What will they come up with next?

And, as one commenter pointed out, who gives birth like that, and on a bearskin rug to boot? It was - obviously - designed by a man.