Log inskip to content

June 5th, 2011

Riley Claude Prestenback

Riley Claude Prestenback,
my grandfather, and the man I consider my 'father who raised me'...

Dec 9, 1926 - Jun 5, 2009

...I found this just this morning.  I must have written in shortly after his passing but it still expresses how I feel today.  I miss you so much....

I watched you take your last breath, I whispered encouragement and 'we love yous' as your spirit fled the confines of your broken body.

I was blessed to experience your transition with you; the palpable peace that filled the room connected you and I irrevocably and, for quite some time, all I knew was peace and contentment; it stayed with me for weeks afterward - a light weight in my heart, a buoyancy in my step. I was one with the Earth and everyone in it; I had experienced the peace of dying; of transitioning from one phase of eternal life to the next. I knew we lived on; and I knew, in the end, *everything* would be all right for everyone! I carried this in my heart as one might carry a treasured object in their pocket.

Slowly, it leeched out of me; reality rushing back in to chase out any remaining hope and joy; as it does. I remember it, but I cannot touch it - it is a dim memory that fades the closer I get to it. One isn't meant to live in a state of total bliss; not until their mind is ready for such, anyway. There is a life to live, reality to deal with, pain and suffering to mourn over.

None of this means a damn thing, when all I really wanted to say was that I miss you so much and I wish you were still here and that in some ways you totally are b/c it is NOT REAL to me yet that you are gone - it can't be. Goddamit, you were supposed to live forever! I thought we'd have you for decades yet, Pa-Pa! None of us were ready for you to go, and - though it has brought us closer - it has also killed something in all of us. You meant so much to so many people, so much to each of us in a special, unique way.

You left this world as a gentleman - who always knows when to leave - just as you lived your life. My Clark Gable-ish grandfather, as I read aloud at your funeral for your eulogy, and everyone smiled and nodded. There was no one else like you in the world and there never will be; you were made of special stuff and we were so so blessed to have been a part of that, a part of your family.

You were the best grandfather a girl could ever ask for, that is for sure! You taught me so much - how to dance, how to drive a car. I used to love going to work with you to the restaurant! I remember your reading to me when I was little, your voice so soft and your intoning just perfect for whatever passage you were reading. You loved to read - a noble trait you passed on to your daughter, who passed it on to all three of her children.

The last thing you said to me was correcting me when I joked - while you lay in the hospital bed with a blue cap on and a gown - that all you needed was your Elizabeth Taylor's "Passion" and you'd be ready to hit the town and visit all the old ladies.

"No," you corrected me, seriously but in a quiet, rasped voice because you were hurting and scared, "I'm wearing Polo Black now."

Just before that, when the doctors and nurses were crowded in that little room, detailing all kinds of crap to you and things you had to sign, you glanced around the doctor and met my eyes as I stood against the wall. You made that "I have no idea wth they're talking about" face and shrugged your shoulders. A total "screw it" expression with the shrug, and I laughed at you, like you wanted, and you smiled.

I was rushing to get to the hospital when they admitted you. They'd told me they were sending you straight to surgery and I couldn't see you. Thankfully, I had about 10 mins in the room with you and the family - I remember rushing in and relief flooding me just as panic swooped in - seeing you lying in a hospital bed; you were always so hale...this couldn't be happening. Mom says you smiled when I came in the room; I didn't see, but I don't doubt it. You knew your "Gypsy" would come, didn't you? Wouldn't have missed it for the world, Pa. It was the last time any of us saw you alive and conscious. I wish I could go back to that moment, to that room. I told you I loved you a few times, I joked with you to lighten the mood and even made you laugh a few times...I don't know what I'd do different if I'd known what would happen...if I'd known you'd have a stroke on the operating table and never wake back up. I just wish I had those few moments back.

I shouldn't be posting this, b/c Mom might see it - and she can't read anything like this about you right now; not yet. She wants to read the eulogy, she says she can remember bits of it but her mind was so jumbled she wants to actually sit and read it...someday. She isn't ready. Like me, I don't think she's ready to face the fact that you simply aren't here anymore. It doesn't fit, it doesn't seem right.

This is long and rambling, and I apologize to any that choose to read it. I just let the words come out, I needed to get them out - I hope you understand. I miss him so much.

No tags for this post.

No Responses to “Riley Claude Prestenback”

  1. Xavier Conolly
    Xavier Conolly says:

    What a stuffinformationdatamaterial of un-ambiguity and preserveness of preciousvaluable experienceknowledgefamiliarityknow-how regardingconcerningabouton the topic of unexpectedunpredicted feelingsemotions.

  2. Latosha
    Latosha says:

    Hello there! I could have sworn I've visited this web site before but
    after going through a few of the articles I realized it's new to me.
    Anyhow, I'm definitely happy I found it and I'll be bookmarking it and checking back frequently!

  3. fucks
    fucks says:

    Thank you, I’ve just been searching for information approximately this topic for a while and yours is the greatest I’ve came upon so far. However, what about the conclusion? Are you certain concerning the supply?

  4. fucks
    fucks says:

    I have been exploring for a little for any high-quality articles or weblog posts in this kind of space . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this site. Studying this information So i am glad to show that I have an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I came upon just what I needed. I most undoubtedly will make sure to do not forget this site and give it a look on a relentless basis.

  5. Adobe support
    Adobe support says:

    Howdy exceptional website! Does running a blog such as this require a great deal of work? I've very little understanding of coding but I had been hoping to start my own blog in the near future. Java Customer Support

  6. çocuk porno izle
    çocuk porno izle says:

    Im going to discover less regarding because it all can last for weeks.

  7. çocuk porno izle
    çocuk porno izle says:

    Im going to discover less regarding because it all can last for weeks.

  8. http://tinyurl.com/yxt3uq7z
    http://tinyurl.com/yxt3uq7z says:

    Howdy! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with
    us so I came to give it a look. I'm definitely loving the information. I'm book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers!

    Superb blog and wonderful style and design.

  9. Dewey
    Dewey says:

    With havin so much written content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My website has a lot of completely unique content I've either authored myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over
    the internet without my agreement. Do you know any solutions
    to help protect against content from being ripped off? I'd genuinely appreciate it.

  10. nekrofili porn
    nekrofili porn says:

    VRy interesting to read it.

  11. Leandro Martins de Almeida
    Leandro Martins de Almeida says:

    Hi there! This is my 1st comment here so I just
    wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I genuinely enjoy reading
    through your blog posts. Can you suggest any
    other blogs/websites/forums that go over the same topics?
    Thanks a lot!

  12. fox
    fox says:

    Amazing blog layout here. Was it hard creating a nice looking website like this?

  13. sizofren
    sizofren says:

    I just want to tell you that I am newbie to weblog and definitely savored your page. More than likely I’m likely to bookmark your blog . You really come with awesome writings. Thanks a lot for sharing with us your website.

  14. sizofren
    sizofren says:

    Thank you, I’ve just been searching for information approximately this topic for a while and yours is the greatest I’ve came upon so far. However, what about the conclusion? Are you certain concerning the supply?

  15. sizofren
    sizofren says:

    I have been exploring for a little for any high-quality articles or weblog posts in this kind of space . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this site. Studying this information So i am glad to show that I have an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I came upon just what I needed. I most undoubtedly will make sure to do not forget this site and give it a look on a relentless basis.

  16. Carlos Magno Nunes Barcelos
    Carlos Magno Nunes Barcelos says:

    I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
    The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following.
    unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield
    this increase.

  17. Miriam Wilde
    Miriam Wilde says:

    It's reallyactually a nicecoolgreat and helpfuluseful piece of informationinfo. I'mI am satisfiedgladhappy that youthat you simplythat you just shared this helpfuluseful infoinformation with us. Please staykeep us informedup to date like this. Thank youThanks for sharing.

  18. Florinda Cicen
    Florinda Cicen says:

    When IAfter I originallyinitially commentedleft a comment I seem to haveappear to have clickedclicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and nowand from now on each time aevery time awhenever a comment is added I getI recieveI receive four4 emails with the samewith the exact same comment. Is therePerhaps there isThere has to be a waya meansan easy method you canyou are able to remove me from that service? ThanksMany thanksThank youCheersThanks a lotAppreciate itKudos!

  19. Clint Slotnick
    Clint Slotnick says:

    I alwaysfor all timeall the timeconstantlyevery time emailed this blogweblogwebpagewebsiteweb site post page to all my friendsassociatescontacts, becausesinceasfor the reason that if like to read it thenafter thatnextafterward my friendslinkscontacts will too.

  20. Rickie Enck
    Rickie Enck says:

    I'veI have been exploring for a little bita littlea bit for any high-qualityhigh quality articles or blogweblog posts in thison this kind ofsort of spaceareahouse . Exploring in Yahoo I at lasteventuallyfinallyultimately stumbled upon this siteweb sitewebsite. ReadingStudying this infoinformation So i'mi am satisfiedgladhappy to expressshowexhibitconvey that I haveI've a veryan incredibly just rightgoodexcellent uncanny feeling I found outcame upondiscovered exactlyjust what I needed. I so muchsuch a lotmost without a doubtno doubtundoubtedlysurelycertainlyfor suredefinitelyunquestionablyindisputablyindubitably will make certainsure to don?tdo not put out of your mindforgetfail to rememberoverlookdisregardomit this siteweb sitewebsite and giveand provides it a looka glance on a constanta continuinga relentless basisregularly.

  21. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    Hello this is kinda of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if
    you have to manually code with HTML. I'm starting a blog soon but have no coding
    experience so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience.
    Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  22. Casey Wetterer
    Casey Wetterer says:

    Your waymethodmeansmode of describingexplainingtelling everythingallthe whole thing in this articlepostpiece of writingparagraph is reallyactuallyin facttrulygenuinely nicepleasantgoodfastidious, allevery one canbe able tobe capable of easilywithout difficultyeffortlesslysimply understandknowbe aware of it, Thanks a lot.

  23. Talisha Flens
    Talisha Flens says:

    This blogThis websiteThis site was... how do Ihow do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have foundI've found something thatsomething which helped me. ThanksMany thanksThank youCheersThanks a lotAppreciate itKudos!

  24. micaze
    micaze says:

    I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.

  25. micaze
    micaze says:

    I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.

  26. çocuk porno izle
    çocuk porno izle says:

    VRy interesting to read it.

  27. Porn of the Dead
    Porn of the Dead says:

    Great post. I used to be checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed!

  28. micaze
    micaze says:

    Nice blog right here! Additionally your website rather a lot up very fast! What host are you using? Can I am getting your associate hyperlink in your host? I want my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  29. hayvanlı porno izle
    hayvanlı porno izle says:

    I cannot thank you enough for the blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome.

  30. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    Hello, Neat post. There is an issue together with your
    site in internet explorer, could check this? IE still is the marketplace leader and
    a large part of people will pass over your magnificent writing
    because of this problem.

  31. http://tinyurl.com/y2lfvwvd
    http://tinyurl.com/y2lfvwvd says:

    Hello to every one, as I am actually keen of reading this web site's post to be updated regularly.
    It includes pleasant information.

  32. Arnoldo
    Arnoldo says:

    I am sure this piece of writing has touched all the internet users, its really really pleasant article on building up new website.

  33. Anastasia
    Anastasia says:

    I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well
    as with the layout on your blog. Is this
    a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing,
    it's rare to see a nice blog like this one nowadays.

  34. Daniel Dantas
    Daniel Dantas says:

    Great post. I'm experiencing many of these issues as well..

  35. http://nanoo.net/
    http://nanoo.net/ says:

    All kinds of investments come with sure risks.

  36. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    you are actually a excellent webmaster. The site loading pace is amazing.
    It sort of feels that you're doing any unique trick. In addition, The contents
    are masterwork. you have done a great job in this topic!

  37. Alonzo
    Alonzo says:

    Good way of describing, and pleasant article to obtain facts about my presentation topic, which i am going to convey in institution of higher
    education.

  38. tinyurl.com
    tinyurl.com says:

    I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep
    it up! I'll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back down the road.
    Many thanks

  39. Juan
    Juan says:

    Hi mates, how is the whole thing, and what you want to say on the topic of this piece of writing, in my view its really awesome designed for me.

Leave a Reply

Gravatars are enabled. Don't have one? Go grab one!

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Spam Protection by WP-SpamFree



Calendar

April 2019
M T W T F S S
« Jul    
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930