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September 9th, 2004

Busy Is As Busy Does

Look, I'm not even going to say "I've been busy" anymore. Just assume it because it's always infallibly true. I'm always busy - too busy to do anything I'd like to do and too busy to do about the half the shit I should be doing. So - I've been-that-thing-that-now-goes-without-saying.

I saw my therapist today - yes, I'm seeing one. I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it. I like my therapist, I think she's great and she is a Pisces, and who's more understanding than a Fish? But it's weird - I mean, usually when I go there, I'm fine. I'm not freaking out or about to cut or on the edge of a panic attack - so what do you talk about? The times you were - in the past? I'm still getting used to it. And yes, I'm going to try the happy pill route for a bit. We'll see how it works out.

I'm bringing this up only because my therapist seems to think there is something deeper to my utter distaste for the marriage thing. She asked if it was because I feared commitment; hardly - all of my relationships have been years-long. I don't even date because I know right away if the person in front of me is someone I could have something long-term with; and I don't dick around with dates. She asked why I think other people get married and I told her that I have no earthly idea what would prompt them to do something so insane. She keeps digging with this - I suppose thinking its the key to some much deeper issue, but I really don't think so. Not everyone jives with the marriage thing - and I'm against it more than most. I don't understand it, don't know why people do it and can't figure out why they'd even want to. The whole concept is beyond me. Look all I know is that more (much more) than half of them don't work - and, hey, I'm not a gambling kinda gal.

Which brings me to another subject in the same vein. Someone recently asked me how I could be so against the whole idea of marriage yet be so passionate about allowing gays the right to do so. This is what I told him:

No, I don't believe in marriage. But that doesn't mean I don't believe that people who do believe in it shouldn't have the right to do it if they so choose. As Voltaire said, "I may not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." That's the principle here. I believe firmly in William Allen White's quote: "Liberty is the only thing you cannot have unless you are willing to give it to others." How can I expect freedom and equality if I don't support it for others?

And that's just that.

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