Log inskip to content

January 30th, 2008

Pain? What Pain?

As many of you know, I suffer from severe arthritis and arthrofibrosis after two major leg surgeries that - lucky me - left me worse off than I was before. This, understandably, causes me a great deal of pain in the day-to-day business of living.

I am still able to work and drive, and I thank my lucky stars for that - I can walk, though with a limp (sexy, eh?) and sometimes a cane. I have "rock-star parking" (or a handicap tag, if you want to be a jerk about it) for life, so there are a few quirks. Though I am blessed in being able to still get around, for the most part, and do some things it is not without considerable pain. Especially at this time of year, with the temperature yo-yoing between humidly warm and bitingly cold, and the frequent rain that comes through dropping the temperature. Not this gimp's best time of year, as you may well imagine.

Not only is my condition chronic (as in permanent), but it is also progressive. It gets worse, it will get worse - yada, yada. I'm not bitter - far from it. In all honesty, this condition has given me an amazing outlook on life - I've learned not to take anything for granted - and gifted me with a special kind of empathy for those that are suffering, mentally or physically.

I, also, wouldn't be who I am today if not for these struggles I've gone through, and I happen to like me...so it can't be all bad, right? Sure, I might someday be completely crippled and wheelchair-bound, but so what? It could always be worse. I spent the first three years of this disability, after the initial surgery in 2001, depressed as all hell and feeling like a prisoner inside of my own body. I'm done with that. The grieving period for the loss of my mobility is over; now I'm living life to its fullest, doing what I can while I still can and taking every moment as the blessing that it is.

That all said, there is still the matter of pain, of which I'm not a fan. The pain has gotten worse, so that - to enjoy and still be able to do the things I once did - I need some help. Help comes in the form of little blue pills, known to the world as Hydrocodone, or in layman's terms, Lortabs. I don't like having to rely on pills to help me get through my day, or to be able to accomplish something as simple as shopping or a full work-day, but there it is. It's just getting to that point.

On Monday I saw, for the first time, the doctor that will become my pain management specialist. Because the pain is chronic, he suggested we try something longer lasting, because popping Lortabs all day long isn't exactly healthy for the old liver (that Acetaminophen is a bitch like that). He prescribed Contin MS for me - which is, I'm not so thrilled to report, a synthetic morphine. It's time-released and will last for 12 hours - so that instead of taking 4 (and sometimes up to 6) Lortabs a day, I can take the Contin MS and maybe only 2 Lortabs (or none if the weather is right and I haven't been overdoing it).

That's the thing. I'm not in agony every day. It all depends on the weather, what I've been doing on the legs to date (if I've been working hard and on them a lot, obviously the pain is worse) They always hurt and ache, don't get me wrong - but sometimes (more often in the warmer months), it can be bearable. Other times, it's bad enough that I can barely limp to the bathroom without pausing and grasping onto furniture for support. Sometimes I can live with it, sometimes I can't. And the times I can't are what the meds are for.

What scares me - I'll admit - is that the times I can't are getting more frequent. I used to be able to go much longer and do more on my legs without this kind of debilitating pain; now, not so much. I know my condition is progressive...that it will deteriorate and grow worse with time. Still, I was hoping to have a little longer. I'm only 30, and the initial surgery was in July 2001; I had just hoped it would hold out a little longer. I knew someday I was facing "pain management" and a life on pills - yet I had hoped it would not come so soon.

Still, I refuse to let it slow me down or get me down. There's no use in that, and self-pity does no one any good. I have to make the best of it, and work hard to control all of this. I've started doing Peggy Cappy's Yoga for the Rest of Us DVD and am reading her book, Yoga for All of Us: A Modified Series of Traditional Poses for Any Age and Ability. I have always wanted to try yoga, but getting into the traditional poses is difficult for someone with a "frozen" leg like mine; Peggy Cappy has re-worked traditional yoga for the elderly, out of shape, and disabled and it's really wonderful. Using it once a week, I have noticed a difference. If I can get my lazy ass to do it every day, I think it would be very beneficial for me.

This summer, I also plan to get back to swimming, which is a wonderful exercise for someone with disabilities. The resistance of the water is perfect for keeping everything in shape and even helping with the arthritis.

So I'm fighting this and working with it all at once. If I let myself dwell on the fact that I need pain pills and a low dose of morphine to get through my day, I just start to get depressed - and that isn't helping me, now is it? So I am focusing on needing less of those things...doing things that will aid me so that I don't have to take pain medication every day, or - at least - all day.

And that's the best I can do - any of us can - just to take it step by step, day by day. Thanks for listening.

No tags for this post.

No Responses to “Pain? What Pain?”

  1. Ariel
    Ariel says:

    What's up everyone, it's my first pay a visit at this web site, and paragraph is truly fruitful for me, keep up posting
    these articles.

  2. Sadye
    Sadye says:

    This is a great tip especially to those new to the
    blogosphere. Brief but very precise information… Thanks for
    sharing this one. A must read article!

  3. Rosetta
    Rosetta says:

    you're truly a good webmaster. The website loading pace is amazing.
    It seems that you're doing any unique trick. Moreover, The contents are masterpiece.

    you have done a excellent task on this subject!

  4. Kisha
    Kisha says:

    These are truly wonderful ideas in about blogging.
    You have touched some fastidious factors here. Any way keep up
    wrinting.

  5. Meghan
    Meghan says:

    I know this if off topic but I'm looking into starting my
    own blog and was wondering what all is needed to get set up?
    I'm assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
    I'm not very web savvy so I'm not 100% certain. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Appreciate it

  6. Shanice
    Shanice says:

    Fantastic blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers?
    I'm hoping to start my own blog soon but I'm a little lost on everything.
    Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There
    are so many options out there that I'm totally overwhelmed
    .. Any suggestions? Kudos!

  7. Tina
    Tina says:

    Highly energetic blog, I loved that a lot. Will there
    be a part 2?

  8. Aleida
    Aleida says:

    Good way of describing, and pleasant piece of writing to get information regarding my presentation topic, which i am
    going to convey in college.

  9. Rae Neonakis
    Rae Neonakis says:

    Thanks for the marvelous posting! I seriously enjoyed reading it, you're a great author.I will remember to bookmark your blog and will often come back later in life. I want to encourage yourself to continue your great posts, have a nice morning!

  10. Jacqueline Hanway
    Jacqueline Hanway says:

    Hi! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to look it over. I'm definitely loving the information. I'm bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Excellent blog and wonderful design.

  11. Roscoe Rundall
    Roscoe Rundall says:

    The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a twenty five foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  12. Numbers Ezzelle
    Numbers Ezzelle says:

    When I initially commented I clicked the "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Thanks a lot!

Leave a Reply

Gravatars are enabled. Don't have one? Go grab one!

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Spam Protection by WP-SpamFree



Calendar

August 2019
M T W T F S S
« Jul    
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031