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The Future Mrs. Worm

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

I realize that - originally - this post was filled with Latin lorem ipsum and I apologize for that (if you're a writer or designer & don't know what 'lorem ipsum' is, I highly suggest clicking on that link).  I uploaded the photo of us in Nashville and forgot to "un-publish" the blog post until I could actually write something on it.  Here is what you should have been seeing:

On Christmas Day, as I sat - with a bad cold - feeling miserable at my computer desk and dreading the rest of the holidaze visiting and traveling we were going to have to do, Baret asked me how I felt.

"Like crap," I muttered.

He stepped out of the room, but I thought nothing of it until he returned holding a little black box.

My pace quickened as he handed it to me and asked, innocently, if that would make me feel better.

My mind was screaming, "Nooooo! That is terrifying!  Feel better?!  I feel like I may have a heart attack!"

But I simply nodded.  He opened the box, got on one knee and told me he loved our life, couldn't imagine living it without me, and that he wanted to let me know he meant it, he was serious, that I was the woman for him.  Then he asked me to marry him.

At this point, all I could stutter out was, "Are you serious?"  (Very romantic, I know)

He snapped the box shut, laughed, and put it on my desk, teasingly telling me, "No, not at all.  It was just a joke."

I smiled weakly and said, "OMFGWTFBBQ THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME!" (in my head) and, "Yes", aloud.

I then stuck out my shaking hand, and he slid the ring - too big, he said we'd get it resized - onto my finger.

It felt like a 100 lb. weight.  We hugged and kissed; I cried a little.  I was...confused.  On one hand I was thrilled, excited, and so in love with my sweet, near-perfect man in that moment.  On the other, all of my previous fears about marriage (remember, I've never seen a happy one) were crushing down on me, and my childhood voice rung in my ears, "I'm never getting married!"

Saying "yes" was going against everything I'd ever sworn to myself.  It was a step I swore I would never take.

I reasoned with myself, though.  I will never - as long as I look - find another Baret.  Everyone wants one!  If I had a nickel for everytime someone said, "Everybody needs a Baret!" or "Everyone loves Baret!", I'd be able to quit my day job.  It's just that he really is that amazing.  And he loves me - adores me, even.  He takes care of me, helps me be more stable, and makes me laugh - constantly.  He lets me be myself, while also helping me improve my less responsible qualities.  I am a better person because of him, and that is simply the truth.  As much as I fight against his sage lessons about "being a grown-up", it does seep in and I do change - for the better.

Also, let's be honest - not many men are jumping at the chance to live with and take care of a semi-handicapped mate.  Besides the perk of lifetime good parking, there are a lot of cons that come with dating me.  Baret has been there since the beginning - before I was so disabled - and has helped me get to the point I am today (almost completely self-sufficient).  He doesn't mind pushing me around in a wheelchair when I need it or packing my seat-walker into the car.  He's not embarassed to walk beside me when I use my cane (which I'm supposed to always do, per my doctor, but which I generally don't because...well, would you want to?).

After the shock wore off, I became more comfortable with the idea; even a little excited about planning the wedding (which I, also, said I'd never do because Mom taught me at a young age that weddings were a "stupid waste of money").  That became deeply ingrained in me and I'm having a hard time with it.  As soon as I get excited about something wedding-related, a part of my brain begins to scold and mock me, "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"  But Baret and I talked it over, and he said he really wants a nice wedding - the whole me walking down the aisle towards him-bit.  He says he only ever plans to do this once (I never planned for even that much!) and the fact that he loves me enough to marry me means he wants to do it right.  That meant a lot to me.  Especially since most guys don't give a crap about the actual wedding and want nothing to do with its planning, but Baret has been excited and very patient as I drool over colors, flowers, décor, dresses, and locations in magazines and online.  He doesn't roll his eyes or look put-out when I discuss colors with him or go over the cake top we want.  He is genuinely interested in planning our wedding together.  I'd be a fool not to marry this guy, believe me, I know!

My sister is getting married in early October, so most family wedding planning is focused on her right now, which is awesome.  I can get some ideas helping her out (she made me cry when she asked me to be her maid-of-honor and of course I asked her to be mine...she's my sista!)  My sister deserves all the happiness in the world, she's suffered a lot, and the smile on her face these days brings joy to my heart.  She's very happy, and that makes us all happy.  Naturally, I wish she and Blake all the happiness in the world.

For me, I'm pretty convinced I've stumbled upon a goldmine of a guy.  Letting him go would be a mistake (not that he'd leave if I'd said "no" but still).  It's taking our relationship to the next level, making a promise to one another, showing the world how much we love one another.  After seven and a half years together, five of those actually living together, I don't expect there to be many surprises.  Still, I sort of get goose-bumpy thinking about tackling things in life as a married couple.  Now that I've let myself embrace the idea, it doesn't seem as horrifying as it once did.  I mean, I'm marrying Baret.  That right there makes it...totally cool.

Come On, Motherfuckers

Saturday, May 29th, 2004

There's nothing quite like lying in bed, half in and half out of sleep, hazily dreaming early on a Saturday morning. It's cool in the room, and warm under the covers - where you're snuggled up close to your man. In your hazy, not-quite-awake state you hope this can last forever.

And then suddenly your sweet, soft sleeping man next to you yells out:

"Come on, motherfuckers!"

Ah, life together. That's even better than the time he pulled the covers up to his chin and murmured, like a little boy, "Mmnn...cookies."

Have a great holiday weekend everyone!

Learn About the Spam Plan

Wednesday, November 12th, 2003

Yesterday evening, at about 3pm, Baret and I were sitting on our patio drinking white wine. We'd gone outside to catch some of the evening air while I smoked a cigarette. I looked over at Baret who was, like me, still clad in pajamas from the night before.

"You realize," I said, "That we're drinking wine in the afternoon still in our pajamas from the night before."

He laughed and replied, "Now that's what I call a day off."

And indeed it was! I suggest the next time you get a day off from work, stay in your sleep clothes all day long, start drinking wine at 2pm and do nothing but laze around all day. I can't tell you what a relaxing day it was - and how much it refreshed us both.

Now, on to the good-natured griping.

An abundance of "pass this on" emails in the work Inbox today. Nothing new there, right? The reason I bring it up as that I came across a cool site that had an informative "Spam Plan" detailed on it. You might know I Am Pariah from the Saturday Slant and The Meme List.

What I learned was that those emails I love to rant about, and that aggravate the beejeezus out of me are generally used as email collectors. That's right, all the 10+ people that each idjit forwards this thing to, and then the 10+ people they send it to are providing a bevy of email addresses for the evil spam gods to gather and spam to death. So this morning, when I received one that read "Wait 'til you see what happens when you forward this thing on...", I had to laugh at the irony. I suggest you read The Spam Plan, and stick to it.

And today I felt like posting a question, so I can learn more about the people that read and comment here - and because it's fun to do something interactive that everyone can participate in. The world is coming to an end. There are three people you can visit and three things you can do. What are your choices? I'll post mine tomorrow.

Have a Happy Hump-Day!

Name Day Report

Monday, November 10th, 2003

Now that the birthday madness has come to a close, I have returned to tell you of my adventures.

First, though, a big huge thank-you to everyone that left birthday messages, sent birthday emails and all that jazz. It was very much appreciated.

I honestly thought this birthday would just zoom on by, almost unnoticed. I didn't expect anything special from it - but it turned out to be one of the best. Last Thursday evening (the day of) I joined my friends for their weekly Thursday-potluck-dinner-get-together. We had a good time and they surprised me with a cake. Saturday I had an Italian potluck to celebrate and to show off the new place to everyone. They were all surprised that we looked so settled after only being there two weeks - though the truth was we'd just stuck all the extra boxes in the storage room!

I got some great presents. Brand & Jackie gave me a matching set of 4 wine glasses - extra thick glass to prevent our usual breakage (I've gone through so many wine glasses in the last year and we were down to *one*), and of course, some wine to put in it. Jackie also got me Sidney Omar's "Cooking with Astrology" - a book I've wanted for some time now. Brand also got some little wine glass charms for the bigger glasses. Erin bought me one of my favorite wines - Mondavi Merlot - Private Selection; saving that one for a special occasion. Missy gave me a darling little bejeweled, red-satin jewelry box. "The Idiot's Guide to Paganism" from my brother (those books are so informataive, I'm learning a few things myself) and "Freeway" on DVD and the new Sims expansion pack ("Makin' Magic") from my sis (she's my game-addiction dealer apparently). My good friend Lauren and her fiance were able to find a babysitter and show up, too - that was great.

I think a good time was had by all. Sunday we went to visit with Baret's family, and they had gotten me a gift certifcate to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Oh yeah.

Really, it was a wonderful birthday. Now it's back to the grind. To all of you that have to work tomorrow - nah-yah. Nothing like a Monday that's really a pseudo-Friday. Woot!

But perhaps the most wonderful present of all was one I worked on and got for myself.

Saturday, for the first time in over a year, I fit back into my size 7's. That's a feeling I really can't put into words. Some of them are still a bit tight, but most are comfortable. After the surgery, I'd gotten up to 9's - and for awhile, was only able to wear 11's. While that may not sound that bad - scrunch all that weight down into a frame that stands only 4'10" tall and you'll see why I was unhappy with my weight. Everyone is asking me what I did. Well, I cut back on carbs - but not that much. The biggest change I made was to start drinking that new low-carb beer, Michelob Ultra. I told you it was my version of a diet; apparently there was more truth to that than I realized!

So to all, a good Monday. I had lots of pithy and interesting things to post about floating about in my head this weekend. Naturally, my memory being what is, I've forgotten all of them. You'll have to be satisfied with the birthday update and the happy weight loss story 'til I can get these old gears turnin' again. I hope everyone has a remarkable day!

Friends Don’t Let Friends Drink & Ebay

Tuesday, September 16th, 2003

There is one thing I will teach my children. Even long before their little fingers are able to stroke the keys and surf the web. This wisdom will carry on from my children to their children, so on and so forth.

Listen carefully, unborne offspring of mine, and heed these words.

Do not, ever, do Drunk Ebay

This is more important than "Don't do Drunk-Ex-Calls" and "Don't do Drunk-Emails". Even sober, Ebay has a powerfully compelling grip on your senses, and your pocketbook.

Last night, Baret and I decided to check out Ebay. "Ooh! See if they have this..." The cursed words - especially when accompanied by two-too-many glasses of white wine. Really, we didn't do as badly as usual. I am the proud owner of the original Playstation game, Tenchu: Stealth Assasins, and am waiting to see if I can come away with MTV Music Generator 2, because it is so cool to mix up your own songs. Aren't I the little DJ? Baret bid on some Eerie comics that he remembered from childhood, and the original Resident Evil Playstation game; which he loves and loaned out to a cousin who never returned it. Bad, bad drunk Ebayers.

Last time I ended up with so many sets of "cool" candle holders, I have no where to hang them!