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British Brit

Friday, January 25th, 2008

Exactly when did Britney become British?

Britney’s Obit – Not News

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

Since Britney Spears has uncharacteristically kept herself below the radar for the last week, papers are scrambling to fill their pages with something about their most illustrious train wreck. A week without word on Britney and - to the modern media, at least - the world stops spinning.

And so they come up with this: The Associated Press Already Has an Obituary for Britney Spears. The media is shocking and tantalizing their vapid crowds with the distressing news that The Associated Press, those bloodthirsty hound dogs, have already gone so far as to write the troubled, former pop star right off this Earth. How callous! How cruel! How dare they!

In truth, however, this has nothing to do with Britney or the cold-blooded sharks that swim the waters of American and British media.

After recently reading The Dead Beat: Lost Souls, Lucky Stiffs, and the Perverse Pleasure of Obituaries by Marilyn Johnson and Life on the Death Beat: A Handbook for Obituary Writers by Alana Baranick, Jim Sheeler, and Stephen Miller, I can assure you that this latest bit of "news" is anything but.

In fact, I can't fathom why everyone is so shocked, or why the media is making such a big deal out of this (oh, wait, yes I do - sensationalism, true or no, sells).

The fact is, this is a very common practice for prominent newspapers wherein celebrities - especially ill, elderly, or troubled ones - are concerned. Anyone can do a little research into the world of obit-writing and learn that obits for some of the world's most prominent persons are ready to go at a moment's notice in the advent of their demise. In fact, some celebs even offer to do "obit interviews" to help the obituary writers out with their eventual and someday-will-be-needed last write-up.

This is a common practice for every celebrity or noteworthy person the world over - not just Britney Spears. And this certainly not the work of some forward-thinking news hounds forecasting the inevitable.

As if there aren't enough newsworthy and important things to be reporting on in the world, the media has to make up sensational and pointless stories about Britney Spears just to feel as if they're writing something relevant. What is this world coming to, I ask you?

To Chris Crocker

Saturday, September 15th, 2007

I am sure you have all seen the now-infamous Chris Crocker YouTube vlbog LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! - or one of the many parodies or opinions about it online, on the radio, and even on TV.

Chris has become the latest Internet phenom, though not in a good way - when ABC News posted his vblog, it quickly garnered world-wide attention as a rabid, devastated Britney fan defending her honor. The backlash hasn't been pretty.

Interestingly enough, I'd been a subscriber to Crocker's YouTube vblogging for a little while now. Though I didn't always agree with everything he said, there were often some enjoyable and enlightening-if-crude dissertations to be found on Chris's profile. Sure, he was sometimes a tad over-the-top, but I haven't met a queenly gay gent yet that wasn't. It's one thing I love about the majority of gay people I know; their candid, often hilarious, approach to things most people consider taboo - including their own acceptance of self in a society that considers them immoral and defective.

As for Chris Crocker and vblogging, I enjoyed his blunt manner of speech and his no-nonsense approach to self-acceptance. He was funny, outspoken, and I felt it took a great set of balls (or preferred lack their of) to be himself - a man who identifies more with his feminine wiles - in such a public setting. He openly spoke about the gender-bias of our society, and challenged ideas of gay and transsexual stereotypes. For that alone, even if I didn't always agree completely with his assessments, I applauded him.

If there's one thing I know and know well, it's that gay men love their pop starlets of choice with a fevered intensity. No, not all gay men have this devotion to the pop tarts of our culture, but many do and they are unfailingly loyal in this adoration. Perhaps that is why Chris's outburst didn't seem too shocking to me. Oh yes, it was a bit much, but I certainly didn't view it with the appalled horror that most Americans seem to be experiencing upon viewing it.

That said, I am all for people having an opinion on Chris's video, his method of presenting his views on the subject, and the views themselves. This is the heart of free speech - and people parodying it and offering up their responses brings the free speech of dissertation to a full, complete and happy circle.

What I am not for and am having trouble swallowing are the hate-filled, fanatical, name-calling and death threats that Chris has swirling around him now. Not agreeing with someone is one thing - saying they are a "stupid queer who needs to be shot" is quite another.

I'm sure Chris is used to his fair share of vitriol and hate-mongering, but the backlash to his video is simply...depressing. It's frightening and disheartening to realize just how much hate, fear, and savageness exists in our society today.

In light of the recent uproar, I have penned a letter to Chris. Rather than have it lost in the mad sea of comments on his vblog, I've decided to put it here in hopes that others may stop and think before they hurl nothing but jeers and cruel words at this young man.

Oh, Chris - you have every right to feel the way you do and to post it online. I just hope you were prepared for this huge backlash.

I dislike Brit and I don't, personally, agree with your views on the subject, but that doesn't mean I don't accept your right to express your feelings and beliefs. The world would be a scary, boring place if we all felt the same and believed the same ways. Whether I agree with what you said, or how you chose to say it, isn't the thing here. Diversity is what makes us unique and beautiful - I suppose my main problem with all of the attention you're getting is the negativity of the majority of it.

The Seth Green parody? Genius; I loved it - and you should enjoy it, too. Who wouldn't want to be parodied by such a talented, funny guy? We have to be able to laugh at ourselves. My point is - disagreeing with you or poking some fun at the presentation of your ideas, while not always nice, is just part of the full circle of free speech. What is not - or should not - be part is the horrible, negative, cruel things people are saying. Laughing is one thing - calling you horrible, bigoted names and wishing you to die is completely another. I don't agree with that and I can't stand by it. I'm really sorry you're having to deal with that aspect of this backlash; truly. My own race makes me ashamed sometimes.

Stay strong - when you throw an impassioned presentation of unpopular views at the world, you're going to get a backlash and some good-natured ribbing. That's okay, and I'm sure you are prepared to deal with that. For the rest of it, however, just stay strong. Weak people who only want to kick you when you're down or use this as a platform for their hate and gay-bashing don't deserve a second of your consideration. Forget them...and keep being yourself; whether the world likes it or not.

GL, sweetie.

The Sanctity of Marriage, Eh?

Friday, June 25th, 2004

Let me go over this again, just so I can get it right, it's the gay people getting married that's going to ruin the "sanctity" of marriage. Correct?

Let me tell you one damn thing, if anything is ruining the sanctity of marriage, it's our dear, childish celebrities getting married every other year and on a whim - not two gay people who are madly in love with one another!

Britney Spears is getting married; again. Let us all not forget Britney's first "marriage" - a Vegas wedding affair that lasted all of 54 hours. Now she's getting hitched to her backup singer. Exactly how long has she been with this man? Apparently not too long considering his baby's momma is currently pregnant for him a second time! You know, because Britney so obviously understands and upholds the sanctimoniousness of marriage.

Yeah, about as much as that dumb matrimony-whore Jennifer Lopez. Or J-Lo. Or Ester. Or P. Diddy. Or whatever name she has chosen this year.

I mean here are these people getting hitched for the most assinine reasons (real love lasts longer than a few hours or a few months, people) but you have a bunch of conservative fuckwads crying that letting a homosexual couple who's been together for 20+ years is ruining the "sanctity of marriage". COME ON!